Indiana Trashketball

The Indiana Pacers stink worse than a bag of fish on a summer day. They call themselves a basketball team? They couldn’t throw a gumball through a hula hoop, hit a free throw if UPS delivered it, or sink a three-pointer if they were on the Titanic. Their play is...

By Jacob Katel

November 6, 2014

Audio By Carbonatix

[
          {
            "name": "GPT - Billboard - Slot Inline - Content - Labeled - No Desktop",
            "component": "22004575",
            "insertPoint": "2",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
          },{
            "name": "STN Player - Float - Mobile Only ",
            "component": "22595215",
            "insertPoint": "2",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
          },{
            "name": "Editor Picks",
            "component": "17482312",
            "insertPoint": "4",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
          },{
            "name": "Inline Links",
            "component": "18711090",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 8,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
            "maxInsertions": 25
          },{
            "name": "GPT - 2x Rectangles Desktop, Tower on Mobile - Labeled",
            "component": "23181625",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 8,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
            "maxInsertions": 25
          
          },{
            "name": "Inline Links",
            "component": "18711090",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 12,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
            "maxInsertions": 25
          },{
            "name": "GPT - Leaderboard to Tower - Slot Auto-select - Labeled",
            "component": "17720761",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 12,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
            "maxInsertions": 25
          }
        ]

The Indiana Pacers stink worse than a bag of fish on a summer day. They call themselves a basketball team? They couldn’t throw a gumball through a hula hoop, hit a free throw if UPS delivered it, or sink a three-pointer if they were on the Titanic. Their play is such garbage it should be called trashketball. They play so ugly that the ref should call foul when they step onto the court. The Pacers should all go to an alley in Indianapolis and punch one another in the face for subjecting the television-watching public to such humiliation. Instead of sucking at basketball, they should be terrible at something that benefits society. Like, they should all become cops and be terrible at killing innocent civilians. Instead, they continue to insist on b-ball when their defense has more holes than a graveyard, their offense is softer than flower petals, and their special teams dribble like an old lady at a nursing home. Watch them lose to the Miami Heat at AmericanAirlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami) this Wednesday. Tip-off is at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $25 to $340. Call 800-653-8000 or visit nba.com/heat.
Wed., Nov. 12, 7:30 p.m., 2014

Jacob Katel

A message from Culture Editor Celia Almeida: If you value independent journalism, please consider making a contribution to support our continued coverage of Miami's vibrant culture and arts scenes.

Support Today