Audio By Carbonatix
Ultra Music Festival is a zoo.
From land sharks to killer whales, pink flamingos to African zebras, UMF 2013 is starting to feel a lot like a World Wildlife Foundation fundraiser, complete with endangered species and cuddly critters.
Sure, they’re inflatable. But try explaining that to someone rolling face. After all, it was in downtown Miami where a young woman dry-humped a tree before ultimately slapping it for reasons unknown last year during Ultra.
Attention, ravers: The inflatable chimp won’t hurt you! He is your friend. He loves you. He loves everybody.
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Check out some of our favorite inflatable props at Ultra 2013.
See also:
–Ten Best Butts at Ultra 2013 –Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Bros –The Six Bad Bitches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival –Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF! –Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra Music Festival 2013 (NSFW VIDEO) –Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Girls Orca Whale Like a fish out of water (or in this case a mammal), a killer whale has no business at Ultra. But it’s mating season, and these bros are taking full advantage of Shamu’s flukes. Plains Zebra Fact: Zebras are safer at Ultra than they are in Africa. Stop poaching, assholes! Mustachioed Saguaro Don’t let the mustache fool you, cacti can be a real pain in the ass. Especially if you sit on one. Sanrio Kitten Want to stick out at Ultra? It’ll take a lot more than a 12-year-old girl’s Hello Kitty birthday balloon. Nice try, homie. Curious Chimp The thing about chimps, they’ll literally rip your face off. (Graphic audio) Television Has-Been Don’t hassle the Hoff, beat freaks. Rave Raft Gregg Gillis of Girl Talk wants his boat back. Chicken Dinner This chick’s depressed because he knows that once Ultra runs out of turkey legs, he’s next. Nom. Nom. Nom. American Flamingo In other news, flamingos have gone missing from Hialeah Park. Umbrella Frog If you’re going to be the only person at Ultra with an umbrella, it may as well have eyes on it. Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
