No, that's not the live version of the Paris Hilton sex video you're watching. Just a run-of-the-mill performance by French underground artist/musician Jean-Louis Costes. Currently trekking through 22 cities of this vibrant, tolerant country, he'll bring his Holy Virgin Cult Tour to Churchill's (5501 NE 2nd Ave.). It's an 11-act play, or as Costes like to call it, a "porno-social ritual," boasting intricate sets and costumes, and a cast of ... 3. A figure not quite as beloved in France as Jerry Lewis, Costes, who often favors performing naked, can brag of being repeatedly dragged into French courts owing to the violent, racist, and brutal content of his songs and his tendency to incite violence via his art. One person you're guaranteed not to see at the show tonight: John Ashcroft. Curtain is 11:00. Cover is $5. Call 305-757-1807. -- By Nina Korman
Making Dills
THUR 11/20
Perhaps Jewish grandmothers are best known for their good cooking and incessant nagging, but the Bubbie in Susan Sandler's romantic comedy Crossing Delancey is on a mission: playing Yiddish cupid. Opening the season for the Miami Stage Company, the production, set in present-day New York City, explores the generational differences between a grandmother and granddaughter. Bubbie, a lovable sharp-witted granny in her 80s, desperately tries to find her independent and liberal 20-something granddaughter Isabelle "Izzy" Grossman a husband. Setting Izzy up with Sam the local pickle salesman turns everything upside down. The show, which was made into a cute movie starring Amy Irving back in 1988, runs through Sunday, November 23, at the recently inaugurated Dave & Mary Alper Jewish Community Center Sablotsky Cultural Arts Building, 11155 SW 112th St. Tickets cost $12. Call 305-233-2257. -- By Jesica Ryzenberg
Storyteller
Spinning Haitian tales
THUR 11/20
Chanting and clapping will certainly get your attention, but when Lucrece Louisdhon-Louinis does it in her storytelling, you will be spellbound by one of the most intense and entertaining storytellers around. Louinis performs Cric-Crac: A Rhythmic Experience as part of the celebration of International Education Week. She digs deep into a well of Haitian folklore and dance to convey life-affirming tales that will stay with you. The show begins at noon at Barry University, 11300 NE 2nd Ave. in Andreas Hall, room 1111. Admission is free. Call 305-899-3082. -- By Juan Carlos Rodriguez
Glam Bash
Big names, activists honored at gala event
SAT 11/22
Okay, we know that lots of glammy people are gonna be showing up to Expanding Horizons, the Gay and Lesbian Foundation of South Florida's annual recognition dinner. Sir Ian McKellen (right) will be honored along with playwright Terence McNally. Local human rights stalwarts Marleine Bastien, founder of Haitian Women of Miami, and Damian Pardo, founder of SAVE Dade, will be handed Community Service Awards. Perhaps the most elegant of all, the Lady Chablis will be on hand to introduce Mary Wilson and the Supremes. The Lady Diana Ross apparently got, uh, detained and canceled her appearance. The party starts at 6:30 at the Westin Diplomat Resort and Spa, 3555 S. Ocean Dr., Hollywood. Tickets cost $185. Call 305-572-1841. -- By Juan Carlos Rodriguez
I Love the '80s
Ride the old New Wave
SAT 11/22
You may have noticed: The '80s are back in a most radical way. Checkered Vans, ruffled shirts, Swatch watches, and big hair haven't been this common since Nancy ... uh, Ronald Reagan ran the White House. So it was only a matter of time before somebody arranged an event that captures the senseless depravity of the decade that gave us Family Ties and The Cosby Show -- a prom. The folks from Vice have done that with their 1st Annual '80s Prom, featuring an '80s cover band, photo booths, slow dances, and a John Hughes movie marathon because what's a prom without Molly Ringwald? And of course, plenty of "party punch" means you can get drunk without getting detention. The Prom goes on at Soho Lounge, 175-193 NE 36th St. Admission is $6. Call 305-576-1988. -- By Humberto Guida
Folk Heroes
FRI 11/21
Singing paeans to regular people doing valiant deeds is what folk musicians like to do; however, they rarely get to hang with their inspirations, let alone trot them out in front of an audience. But folk duo Curtis Teague and Loretta Simonet, on a 7-week, minivan-powered tour, will be bivouacking with Miami resident Luba Tryszynska-Frederick, a.k.a. the Angel of Bergen-Belsen, who saved 54 abandoned children from death in a Nazi concentration camp during WWII. The show, with Luba, begins at 8:00 p.m. at Luna Star Café, 775 NE 125th St., North Miami. Admission is $10. Call 305-892-8522. -- By John Anderson
