The Weirdest Florida-Related Terms Defined in Urban Dictionary

A few years ago, we looked up the weirdest Miami-related terms in Urban Dictionary and realized there's  a whole set of Florida-related terms. The internet's favorite depository for slang definitions did not disappoint when we went digging for the oddest Sunshine State slang. 

Here are our favorites, excluding most of the sexual positions we're pretty sure nobody has performed anyway. (Though, if you're interested, search "Tallahassee" in Urban Dictionary. That poor town has more fake sex acts named after it than perhaps anywhere else on Earth.) 

Florida baptism 

The act of dropping a baby on its head in a Walmart. Ensures another generation of Floridians will flourish in the great state.

Tampa nublet

Street slang for the stump left after the removal of a finger or toe with a cigar cutter.

Historically, this was popularized by the crime family of Sicilian-born Santo Trafficante Sr. in the Tampa Bay area during the mid-20th-century.

Modern-day street gangs in the Tampa Bay area continue the practice against rival gang members, though the use of a cigar cutter may or may not be used as a matter of personal choice in style. 

Florida bath 

1. Swimming in the pool instead of taking a shower and considering this bathing. 
2. Used as an excuse for not taking a bath/shower because you had a chlorinated-water encounter in the past 24 hours.

Florida 5

A girl in any other state who is rated an 8 or better.

Florida Happy Meal

A purchase consisting of (a) a 12-pack of beer, (b) a pack of cigarettes, and (c) lottery tickets. 

South Florida math 

The type of math used by the criminal underworld to describe the size of packages that narcotics may come in. Notably used in South Florida cities such as Miami.

Orlando circus 

Anything to do with the butthole. 

Floridabulous

An action or event so incredibly stupid, trashy, and/or inexplicably bizarre and defying common sense and logic that always seems to be committed by or in the state of Florida. 

Florida field goal

Having someone chug a beer while, halfway through, they are kicked in the nuts with a steel-toed boot; then they must finish the beer chug.

Panhandle baby

A child conceived during spring break, mainly in cities such as Panama City. 

Jacksonville birth control 

To eliminate the birthing of a potential child by pushing one's wife/significant other down a flight of stairs while pregnant.

Florida maraca

A jar full of prescription pain pills that, when shaken, sounds like a maraca.

Broward College

Harvard of the South. 

Florida majority

A "majority" derived by excluding those likely to disagree. The type of majority that voted in "President" Bush in 2000.

Florida pedestrian 

1. Something in your way.
2. Something irrelevant.
3. Potential roadkill/awakening speed bump. 

Florida water

MDMA (Ecstasy, molly, etc.) mixed in water. Users typically drink this mixture from a plastic water bottle throughout the evening.