The next time you're thinking about driving drunk, consider the plight of a man we'll call Hank. In 2006, a police officer found him passed out behind the wheel of his pick-up truck in a Florida trailer park. Roused from his slumber, he blew a .081-- just over the legal limit-- into the cop's breathalyzer. Because Hank already had three DUIs on his record, he was sentenced to three years in prison.
Two years in, Hank's story became the stuff of nightmares. A mysterious penis affliction landed him in the care of Dr. Paul Perito, the chair of urology at the Coral Gables Hospital. After a series of apparently botched operations, while bouncing between Miami-area hospital, Hank was forced to undergo a "partial penectomy."
Which means his penis was amputated.
In November, Hank-- whose identity we're not revealing because of the humiliation associated with his saga-- filed suit against Perito, five other doctors, the Florida Department of Corrections, and Larkin Community Hospital.
But loyal readers of Riptide will recall that Perito has been accused of going down this road before. Two years ago, he was sued by a Coral Gables man who claimed his penis was amputated after a botched penile implant surgery.
And in 2004, Perito was hit with dozens of criminal charges related to the alleged sale of diluted or counterfeit prescription drugs from his Goulds strip club, Playpen South. A law enforcement affidavit even quoted witnesses who claims that the urologist had a "special K" habit, snorting ketamine and sharing it with strippers-- even the night before he was due to perform surgery.
The charges were eventually dismissed, as Perito entered a pre-trial program and paid thousands of dollars in fines.
In a recent court filing, Perito broadly denied that he was at fault for Hank's missing manhood. Both he and his attorney, William L. Petros, have not responded to several messages seeking comment. But in 2010, he did beckon this reporter to his office, where he angrily waved a penile implant and declared: "My reputation right now should be exonerated!"
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"I just piss out of this little baby hole that I got," Hank told us in a teary interview. "I have to sit down like a woman. When I stand up, it squirts everywhere."
Like we said: Don't drive drunk. Read the entire gory story here.