Kirstie Alley, an actress famous for being on Cheers and then getting sorta fat, has a new reality show called Kirstie Alley's Big Life.
Get it?
For those who have braved A&E Network at 10 p.m. Sundays, you might have noticed the show's bouncy, pop-guitar theme song, "Picture Perfect." A little Google search will tell you an L.A. singer named Yogi Lonich performs the ditty. But he didn't write the track.
No, that honor goes to Carlos Bertonatti, an up-and-coming Miami musician whose name should ring a (bicycle) bell for an entirely different reason: Bertonatti is in Dade County lockup today, awaiting an August trial on charges of DUI manslaughter and vehicular homicide.
Back on January 17, police say, Bertonatti's breath showed almost twice the legal limit after slamming into 44-year-old cyclist Christophe Le Canne on the Rickenbacker Causeway and then speeding away with the victim's bike wedged under his Volkswagen. Le Canne died on the pavement.
So, how exactly did Alley end up with the accused hit-and-runner's handiwork on her opening credits?
A&E spokesman Barry Rosenberg would only confirm that "Picture Perfect" is the show's theme. Manfred Westphal, a spokesman for Freemantle Media, which produces the show, didn't return an email.
Bertonatti performed the song with Alley last June on a Twitter-based fundraiser called Aquathon. A grainy web video shows him serenading the actress on her sun-dappled Hollywood veranda.
Presumably, when he was accused of Miami's most horrific recent bike-related crime, Alley backed off. Lonich's version, which sounds identical to Bertonatti's, took its place.
So, does Bertonatti receive writer's royalties from the show? Again, Rosenberg wouldn't say. Leonard Sands, Bertonatti's lawyer, says he doesn't know either.
"If he does, that money could help pay a restitution fund to Le Canne's family," he points out.
Let's hope that's the case. It's not as if we need another reason to avoid reality TV.
