Girls, Girls, Girls, and a Man With a Very Smooth Head
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. .
Charged with: Refusal to take DUI test, resisting officer with violence, escape, criminal mischief, disorderly intoxication
Yep, it's one of those weeks. Where ladies got mysterious shit in their dimples and we have no idea why.
Charged with: Aggravated battery with a deadly weapon
And hellions. Man, do we have a lot of hellions this week.
Charged with: Grand theft third degree
She looks like the type of girl who would convince you to drive her to Omaha, Nebraska on a whim. But along the way she pawns your guitar and coerces you into robbing a couple of liquor stores and at one point she drunk-dials your mom and then one day she just drives off in your car while you're taking a crap in a 7-Eleven.
Charged with: Use of fraudulent identification
Why do we suddenly feel like yodeling? The eyebrows show a fine attention to detail.
Charged with: Possessions of cannabis, possession of drug paraphernalia, criminal mischief
Hey, it's Miami-in-a-lady!
Charged with: Aggravated battery
Unfortunately, we don't know just what it is that everyone knows because the jail photographer was seriously slacking on this one. But we did look up her Facebook page and we can tell you that under "job", she wrote: "I HATE THAT THE GOVERNMENTS GETS ALL MY HARD EARNED MONEY".
Charged with: Battery
This was A League Of Their Own week at Mugshots Friday. Now back to our regular male ne'er-do-wells.
Charged with: Possession of cannabis with intent to sell, possession of drug paraphernalia.
Fatisyahu. There, I said it. Let's move on.
Charged with: Battery
Oh man, that's just a nice, smooth, bulbous head. If I was Alex Rodriguez, I'd hire this guy to go on road trips with me and rub his head before games for good luck. Actually, he looks a bit like Johan Santana if Johan Santana was one of those stress toys you squeeze to make its head inflate.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Deadly "Kissing Bug" Has Infiltrated Florida
- $35,000 Worth of Christmas Trees Stolen From Kendall Costco
- Woman's "End of Probation" Party Leads to Arrests