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Top 5 Foods To Sneak Into The Movies

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I don't know that every single American feels compelled to consume food while sitting in a movie theater -- only that every one that ends up seated next to me does. It is apparently too much to expect a person be capable of watching a film for two hours without simultaneously stuffing their face with candies, hot dogs, and popcorn. (Popcorn! Who was the genius that decided to make this malodorously oiled, loud-to-chew snack the signature theater food?). So we at Short Order, after swiping the idea from our sister paper in Houston, encourage you to BYOS -- Bring Your Own Snacks. Why sneak in your own? Because everything the theaters sell are unhealthy and overpriced. Screw them.

Here are five treats that will save you money and prove less obtrusive on those seated nearby:

1.Berries or seedless grapes. In a plastic bag. Clean, easy, healthy, delicious.  

2. Empanadas, burritos, arepas, or any similarly self-encased treat that can be easily smuggled in and tastes decent at room temperature.

3.Granola bars, health bars, brownies, cookies, or other individually-sized baked goods. Will provide energy to keep you awake through anything -- except, perhaps, a French romantic comedy.

4.Raisins, nuts, trail mixes. You can even toss some Raisinettes or Goobers into the blend if you must -- but please don't add popcorn.

5. Bottle of beer. Not technically a "food", but if iced beforehand it's very refreshing!

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.