This year, Burger King's gift to England was a limited time burger topped with brussel sprouts and emmental cheese.
The Brits were pissed, the king apologized, and the Brazilians who bought the company are probably like, "WTF? They don't like the brussel sprout burger?"
No! It was a terrible idea, and there are plenty more out there. Here are the top 10 worst burger toppings in the world.
10. Brussel Sprouts and Emmental Cheese
We don't care how it's seasoned or even if it tastes good, no one's ever gonna buy its because of the name. And emmental cheese? That's "a gentle Swiss." If you want a gentle Swiss in your mouth go to Craigslist.
Granted, peanut butter is a pretty fucking amazing invention. Versatile too. Peanut sauce is used on meat all the time. But to suggest that it would go well with ketchup, mustard, lettuce, onion, pickle, and mayo is just further proof that even though some people like it, it doesn't mean it's good.
8. Foie Gras
Oh you fancy, huh? Look, rich kid, we don't need your stinking bird liver mucking up the burger market. By the way, you're probably buying bootleg anyway. All they do is skim the lard off the sides of the vats at the pork factory, pour it in a Jell-O mold, tell you it's from France, and charge $20 bucks an ounce for it. Sucka.
Take your stupid foodie buzzwords and shove 'em up your ass. If you've got a problem with iceberg lettuce, you're probably a communist.
6. Cottage Cheese
Nothing like biting into a nice, juicy burger and having its ass end shoot out a stream of thigh fat. Whoever thought of this one must have a degree in physics to keep all that jiggly stuff contained. We bet it still doesn't work.
5. Marinara Sauce
You ever had a meatball sub with too much sauce? The bread falls apart, your hands are slopped, it's all a big soggy mess, and you end up the sauce shirted reject. Picture that, but with a hamburger bun it's even worse ability to contain liquid matter.
We shouldn't have to be the ones to tell you, but, she's pregnant.
3. Spinach Artichoke Dip
Sure, it's probably good, but do you really want to shit your pants?
2. Imitation Crab Meat
Some people call this "trailer park sushi." Maybe if it was real crab, but probably not even then. Maybe if it was real seafood, but probably not even then. Maybe if it was actual food matter from nature and not made in a lab in Asia, but probably not even then.
1. Nuts and Mayo
The Nutburger at Matt's Place in Butte, Montana, has been shocking the internet for years now. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves...nut, butt, buns, mayo. Got a worse burger topping? Leave a comment.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.