With the South Beach Wine & Food Festival a mere stone's throw away, we can't help but think of all the traffic, money, and celebrities the bash will bring.

Sure, South Beach will be a pain in the ass to get around for those four days, but take into account all the tourism money and publicity this city receives, and it totally balances out.

We're all expecting the usuals: Paula Deen, Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain, Michael Symon. But for them to open a restaurant wouldn't be that much of a surprise. They are, after all, chefs and home cooking extraordinaires. A place from them is almost expected.

Let's instead take a look at five celebrities we'd like to see open a space. None have the slightest connection to food, or the restaurant industry, or good taste in general.