Food News

At Girl Scout Cookie Time, What Can Boy Scouts Sell? Bacon, Beer, and Girlie Mags

Girl Scout cookie season officially starts today in South Florida, and you know what that means, don't you?

Yup, dozens of little green hustlers swarming all over you whenever you try to enter a supermarket or big-box retail establishment. Trying to sell you boxes of overpriced chemical-laden cookies that are basically the same taste and quality as the crap you can buy any time of the year at Publix...but because of a great marketing campaign (or the allure of a cute pig-tailed tot), you're salivating like Pavlov's dog at the thought of a Trefoil or Thin Mint.

Thinking of this annual onslaught made us think of the Boy Scouts and why they don't sell cookies. In fact, Boy Scouts do sell something -- popcorn.

The Trail's End website sells popcorn, trail mix, and pretzels -- all benefiting the Boy Scouts of America. Trouble is, outside of a movie theater does anyone really eat popcorn? And does anyone ever eat trail mix, the unholy marriage of peanuts, raisins, and M&M's?

If the Boy Scouts are ever going to beat the girls at their own game, they've got to sell something a little more interesting...here are some suggestions:


5. Bacon
A sure fire winner in the sales department, this meat candy is loved by all. While popcorn can only be enjoyed while watching a movie (possibly hinting to the need to be distracted from the fact you're eating something completely devoid of taste until you dress it with salt and butter-flavored machine lubricant), bacon can be enjoyed everywhere.  This is one sure-fire fundraiser.

4. Beer
Boy Scout Beer -- we like the ring of it. What can possibly be more American than beer and Boy Scouts? Throw in the flag and a golden retriever and you've got yourself a Chevy commercial! Plus, beer is something that every household needs, unlike popcorn.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times. She has been featured on Cooking Channel's Eat Street and Food Network's Great Food Truck Race. She won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature about what it's like to wait tables.
Contact: Laine Doss

Latest Stories