Censored to protect the vacant.
Censored to protect the vacant.
Censored to protect the vacant.

UM is the Second Most Superficial University in America

University of Miami is sitting just outside the top 50 on US News & World Reports' list of America's Best Colleges, but perhaps the Canes can take solace in the fact they made it to number two on another list. Radar ranked UM as the runner-up to USC in the "most superficial" category of its snarky college review.

Tucked away in Miami's posh Coral Gables neighborhood, the University of Miami is built primarily on artifice and, presumably, swampland. Intellectuals are generally regarded as lepers, according to one student reviewer, but if you love "cell phones, Prada, Us Weekly, and have a mindless herd mentality, then by all means this is the place for you!"

Some students might actually be more proud of this accolade than the school's continued climb up the US News' ranking. Last Spring, Matt Hall, a graduating senior, lamented to The Miami Hurricane that the worst thing that happened to the school during his education was the increased concentration on academics at the expense of hot girls.

“With our rising standards and Shalala trying to make it a good school, we’re getting smarter and less attractive, and it’s so disappointing.”

--Kyle Munzenrieder


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