Shauna Sands' Unspeakable Acts of Z-List Celeb Sex Caught on Tape in Miami

I

'm not sure why Shauna Sands is a celebrity. Maybe it's for her breakthrough role as Stripper #1 in a 2004 episode of Las Vegas, or perhaps as Jacuzzi Woman in the shamefully overlooked masterpiece Succubus: Hell Bent. Or maybe it's because she is the first woman to successfully have lips cut off a trout and transplanted onto her face. For whatever reason, the former Playboy Bunny and ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas (also not sure why he is famous) has carved out a nice niche as a gossip blog regular. 


Anyway, the thing split with Lamas awhile ago -- the hard-hitting journalistic endeavor known as Fox News says it's because she slept with his 18-year-old son, her stepson -- but came to South Beach earlier this year and bagged herself a new man. Probably because, by SoBe standards, she is considered a natural beauty. 

The sophisticated lady decided to videotape a sexual rendezvous while she was in the Magic City, and surprisingly the tape got out and now adult-video über-studio Vivid plans to release it. Of course, she is publicly upset about the entire thing, because all evidence points to the fact that she is a classy and modest woman.

More important, though, someone needs to identify where this tape was filmed so a 50-foot barrier can be placed around it and quarantined for the next 100 years. 

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