International News

Replacing Hugo: Which Latin American Leader Is Next On America's Sh*tlist?

Earlier this week, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez announced that he'll be undergoing cancer surgery for the fourth time in less than two years. Chavez, who has held power in Venezuela since 1999, apparently isn't too optimistic about his chances; he's already named a successor to take his position should his health fail. The removal or death of Chavez would have large ramifications for American foreign policy with regards to Latin America. But it'll also create a vacancy for an important U.S. position: Official Latin American boogeyman.

With Chavez's fate uncertain, and with previous Enemy-of-the-State Fidel Castro doing his best Weekend at Bernie's imitation in Havana, the United States could find itself, for the first time in a long time, without a Latin or South American head of state to fear or oppose. Given Chavez's predilection toward saying mildly outrageous things, his absence could also leave us here at New Times without an important source for Spanish-speaking craziness.

In an effort to do some heavy foreign-policy lifting for Barack Obama and company, we've decided to pick the five most likely Latin and South American leaders on which our government will focus its disapproval. ¡Vamos!

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Jon Tayler