News of the Weird

Lead Stories
*An evangelical Christian organization in Hereford, England, announced in May that it had set up a 24-hour-a-day camera on Jerusalem's eastern gate to capture Jesus' millennial return ( Also in May the firm Triumph International Japan announced it would market the Armageddon Bra, with a sensor in the shoulder strap to warn wearers against millennial doomsday objects falling from the sky.

*Sister Mary Rinaldi, director of development for the Salesian Sisters Roman Catholic order in New Jersey, told reporters in April that more than 2500 benefactors have paid $100 and up for nuns to pray for them daily. Rinaldi said the sisters are not selling their prayers; rather, she said, they will pray for anyone, but those who contribute money get special attention from their own designated nun, with proceeds to fund their retirement home. A Pennsylvania order has a similar program, "One on One with a Nazareth Nun."

Another Reason for U.S. Independence from England
*In April just as North Carolina Rep. Frank Mitchell was introducing his bill to plug a loophole in a state law that did not fully punish schoolteachers who have sex with their students, the chief inspector of schools in Great Britain was still dealing with fallout from his February remarks that teacher-student sex could sometimes be "experiential and educative" and should not necessarily result even in the teacher's firing.

Inside the Killer's Mind
*Ms. Suphatra Chumphusri, explaining why she killed her drug-dealing son in December in Chiang Rai, Thailand: "No matter how much I loved him, I had to do it for the sake of the general society." And according to the court-appointed psychiatrist examining last summer's U.S. Capitol shooter Russell Eugene Weston, Jr., the two deaths were unavoidable because Weston had to get the "ruby satellite" in a Senate office in order to stop the Capitol Hill cannibalism that had produced rotting corpses, which would otherwise infect everyone with "Black Heva, the most deadliest disease known to mankind."

*Latest Highway Truck Spills: Several tons of chocolate bars on Interstate 80 near Grinnell, Iowa, March (which caught fire and burned out of control because of the chocolate's oil); a truckload of rock salt in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, March (giving great protection against ice to a small patch of E. Carson Street); a tanker truck of tequila near Opelousas, Louisiana, June; and twenty tons of explosive black powder just before rush hour in Springfield, Virginia, at the Capital Beltway's busiest interstate interchange.

*In February Japanese tourist Satoshi Kinoshida, age 48, was hospitalized in Taipei, Taiwan, after he tripped at a hotel and fell onto a chopstick he was holding and had it penetrate about an inch into his right eye socket. (It missed his eyeball, and he was not seriously hurt.) And in March a twenty-year-old man in Thisted, Denmark, had to be taken from a bar to a machine shop late at night so a technician could disassemble a condom machine in which his finger had become stuck.

-- By Chuck Shepherd

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Chuck Shepherd