Hanley Ramirez

Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla Are All-Stars

It’s about time the rest of the world got exposed to the sheer awesomeness that is the Florida Marlins’ Hanley Ramirez. Yesterday it was announced that Ramirez will be the starting shortstop for the National League in next week’s All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. Ramirez beat out the Brewers’ J.J. Hardy and the Astros’ Miguel Tejada for the starting slot in fan voting. This will be Hanley’s first, of what is expected to be many, appearance as an All-Star. And it’s well deserved. Ramirez is flat out delivering cockpunches galore to opposing pitchers and defenses left and right this season. He enters the week with 21 homeruns, a .302 batting average, 43 RBI, 75 runs scored and 21 stolen bases. He's hit four homers in his last seven games, with five of those games having seen him collect two or more hits and, rumor has it, he once saved a woman from certain death by flying around the earth in reverse so fast it changed its axis and turned back time. True story.

Meanwhile, Dan Uggla was announced as an All-Star reserve with his 23 homeruns and 58 RBI. Uggla was leading the majors in homers until he was recently sidelined with an ankle sprain. Now he’ll just have to show the world that he truly is the God of Thunder by doing what he does best, namely hitting the shit out of the baseball, in this year’s Homerun Derby.

The All-Star Game will be held July 15, and the Homerun Derby July 14.

- Chris Joseph

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