If aliens land on Planet Earth in 3020 and come across this list, they'll be able to deduce a few things about readers of this fine newspaper. Y'all hate hurricanes, love feet, and enjoy dunking on Jacksonville almost as much as The Good Place.

Yes, 2020 was a year of never-ending misery, but you managed to find a little joy by clicking on stories about foot fetish parties and that lady at a presidential town hall who told Donald Trump that he was handsome. On the other end of the spectrum, you furiously Googled COVID-19 test sites and information about how to avoid being evicted. New Times readers have always contained multitudes.

Without further ado, here are our top ten stories from 2020. Eyeballs are the metric here — these were the most-read news stories on our site this year, per some detailed analytics.
10. Not Now, Eta.
Thankfully, Tropical Storm Eta heeded our advice and stayed the f away.
9. Miami's Fetish Community Falls Head Over Heels for Feet.
Lots of you read this story about the Footnight parties that, pre-pandemic, took place monthly in South Florida. Lots more of you seem to have Googled "foot fetish" and found our story during isolation.
8. Woman Who Likes Trump's Smile: "I Wish He Would Smile More and Talk Less."
Bottom line: Paulette Dale voted for Biden.
7. For Many in Miami, Rent Is Due April 1 — Do You Have to Pay?
Back in March, when the coronavirus was still new to Florida, many of us received news of layoffs, business closures, and pay cuts. Hundreds of thousands of you searched for information about how to pay your rent. While some protections still exist for tenants and homeowners, advocates and attorneys fear an "avalanche" of evictions could be filed in 2021.
6. Proud Boys Respond to Trump's Debate Night Comments.
This asshole again.
5. Andrew Gillum Involved in Alleged Crystal-Meth Incident in Miami Beach.
New Times reported the story about former gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum's drug-filled encounter at a Miami Beach hotel on March 13, the first day our editorial staff began working from home because of the coronavirus. It was an insanely busy, news-filled Friday the 13th we hope to never repeat.
4. That Jacksonville Lady Wants You to Know She's "Not a Moron."
Wendy Diaz does a Duval impression better than anyone else we know.
3. Here's a List of All the COVID-19 Test Sites in South Florida.
Remember all those fun times waiting in line to get a swab stabbed up your nose?
2. Miami Beach Commissioner Asks if City Should Infect First Responders With Coronavirus.
Ricky Arriola started off 2020 crazy and only got crazier.
1. Leaked Emails: Norwegian Pressures Sales Team to Mislead Potential Customers About Coronavirus.
An incredible investigation by staff writer Alexi C. Cardona showed that Norwegian Cruise Line, which is headquartered in Miami, pressured its salespeople to continue selling cruises to unsuspecting vacationers, despite the risk of grave illness or death from the coronavirus. Shortly after we published our story, the Florida Attorney General's Office announced it would open an investigation into Norwegian.