Remember those simpler times when the most scandalous thing about Lindsay Lohan was that she was fighting with Hillary Duff over Aaron Carter? Back before the tragic beauty of our times was involved in cocaine accusations, alcohol arrests, volatile relationships with older lady DJs, and, perhaps worst of all, I Know Who Killed Me.
Lohan is in the news again for some sort of weird thing where she missed a court hearing because she lost her passport in France, and now has to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet and attend alcohol classes and drug tests. Oh Lindsay!
Well, her old beau Carter says he blames LA, and says that life in Miami is much happier and healthier.
"When she set foot in L.A. was when everything came crashing down. I don't live in L.A. I live in Miami. And look -- I've got color in my face. I'm healthy! I'm sober. That's what life is about, moving forward," Carter told OK! magazine.
Yes, something about Los Angeles is to blame for the downfall of La Lohan. I'm sure it has nothing to do with her unhinged, fame-hungry, ex-con father, constant paparazzi and gossip press, whatever struggles she had coming to terms with her sexuality, and the fact that her teenage boyfriends still talk about her in the press. Nah, not at all.
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Besides, the last few times Lohan was in the 305 she either got in a major fight with Samantha Ronson or ended up in the hospital for breathing problems.