Let's be prepared, beat freaks. There is absolutely no reason to wait till we're trapped at the bottom of a 1000-foot k-hole to start planning our Ultra Music Festival itinerary. So before digging out our dosage, stripping down to our rubber underwear, and temporarily leaving behind these human husks we call our bodies, we've gotta take some time to script our trip through Ultra land.

Obviously, with 200-plus house heads, rave-tastic trance masters, and rogue dubsteppers overrunning outdoor stages, immersive arenas, miniature geodesic domes, and other pseudo-futuristic monuments to electronic tuneage, this little scheduling session could easily spiral into total unmanageability. But for the sake of easy comprehension (especially since we'll all soon be so effing high our feet will seem to disappear), let's keep the itinerary extremely simple, scheduling only five stops per day.