Paris Hilton to Make DJ Debut in Brazil, Ruin Everything

See also "Afrojack Says He 'Didn't Know Shit' About Paris Hilton's DJ Debut" -- plus "Paris Hilton's DJ Debut Sucked Balls," "Jane Bang's Diss Track: 'Keep Sucking on That Afrojack Dick,'" and "DJ Paris Hilton Pisses Off Samantha Ronson and Deadmau5."

Electro is so dead.

When Madonna jumped on the EDM train and started yelling about her friend Molly, it was bad enough. But now, famous-for-being-rich-and-skanky Paris Hilton is poised to hop on that bleeping-blooping choo-choo and wreck it in front of thousands of Brasileño dance music fans.

The hotel heiress and girlfriend of megastar DJ Afrojack will make her spinning debut with a one-hour set at next month's Pop Music Festival in São Paulo, Brazil.

"I cannot wait to DJ for the first time in front of thousands of people," Paris tells Billboard. "I have been a part of the music scene and club scene since I was 15. It's something I have been passionate about and have come to respect very much. I am very excited to share all of my hard work with the world."

So, just because a person goes out a lot and makes out with a legitimate selektor, that person is totally qualified to become a DJ?

And we're skeptical for a million other reasons. Like, the fact that Ms. Hilton doesn't even understand the first rule of the craft: Fuck your requests. Remember when Steve Angello had to put a ho in check a couple of years back during WMC?

But ... Oh, Jesus, why not? Everyone else is a DJ these days. In the end, we suppose Paris is just as legitimate as any other ho-hum frat dude with a laptop.

Besides, here's hoping she drops her own single in the mix!

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.