Audio By Carbonatix
Keep Miami New Times Free
We’re aiming to raise $7,500 by April 26. Your support ensures New Times can continue watching out for you and our community. No paywall. Always accessible. Daily online and weekly in print.
Like water draining from a home plate backstop aquarium, the little respect we have left for the Florida Miami Marlins continues to dwindle.
Enraging fans has seemingly become a common practice among the organization’s front office–robbing Miami-Dade County taxpayers, a “horrifying” home run sculpture, horrendous new uniforms, etc.
The latest, a laughable lineup of musical acts scheduled to perform following each first Friday home game of the month. On the bright side, “Friday Night Live” events are sponsored by Jiffy Lube, which makes getting fucked by the Marlins a little less painful.
Peep the first four acts after the cut.
Friday, April 13 with Daddy Yankee
Following the Marlins’ game against the Houston Astros, Daddy Yankee will add mas “Gasolina” to the fire that is the team’s inability to connect with fans. Daddy Yankee? Guess we’ll have to party like it’s 2005.
Friday, May 11 with LL Cool J
Does this fucking guy even make music? We thought he turned his back on hip-hop when he joined the cast of CBS’ NCIS: Los Angeles. Jesus Christ, Marlins.
Friday, June 8 with Chino y Nacho
I get it; we’re an international team, but Chino y Nacho? Why not Calle 13 or Wisin y Yandel? At least it’s not Flo Rida, right?
Friday, July 13 Flo Rida
Of all the hip-hop heavyweights in Miami, the Marlins took Flo Rida. That’s like Dolphins trading a great wide receiver and passing on one of the best quarterbacks of all time. That’s foul.
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
