Friday, July 3, 2014

Fun Fact: A Katy Perry concert is a strange thing.

When we told people we were going to see the diva that is KP, we got a few different reactions -- pure confusion, disgust, or jealously.

But we love her. And honestly, do you not know every single she has ever put out? You do. Don't lie.

See also: Capital Cities on Touring With Katy Perry and Life Getting "Chaotic and Crazy"

Upon arrival, it was hard not to notice the diversity of Katy's fans. They were young, old, white, black. Well, mainly white, but nonetheless, the age range alone was impressive.

Was it strange to be ordering a $10 Miller Lite while sitting next to a 4 year old? Sure.

But hey, 4 in Miami is practically 20.

As the lights went dim, the very crowded American Airlines Arena exploded with screams.

For a moment, we all sat in complete darkness. Then suddenly, the stage was lit up, but not by lights. It was neon ninjas and lasers. Imagine Ultra Music Festival, just more on a tweens-and-moms level.

Speaking of levels, there Katy came -- from the floor. Which she did about 10 to 20 times throughout the evening.

We now know a couple of things about Ms. Perry: she dates douches (cough, cough, John Mayer) and she loves to enter and exit through holes in the ground.

See also: EDM's Five Biggest Hacks

If Molly were a person, not a drug, it would be Katy Perry during The Prismatic World Tour's opening number. Big skirt, all in LEDs and glitter with a little bit of midriff. Oh, and let's not mention that the floor moved.

If you were on drugs, Ms. Perry blew your mind. Twice.

Another thing we learned about Katy: dancing is not her strong point. Really, she's not great, but her voice was too stunning to complain about lackluster choreography skills.

Though Perry's tour setup, costumes, and props were extravagant, her singing ability was never upstaged.

"Ill be here for two hours! Get ready!" she told us about three songs in. And she wasn't lying.

Then shit got weird.

All night, the show had us asking, "Is this happening?" There were guitarists in the air with flames. Multiple cat videos. Dancers in pyramids. And mummies with Kim Kardashian asses.

We all have inspirations. And apparently, a pregnant, undead Kim K is among Katy's.

Maybe one of the best moments of the Prismatic show is when Perry tells her neon ninjas to take a timeout, walks to the edge of the stage, and gets real.

Flowers in her hair with a guitar. Oh, and lots of crowd interaction. She took a selfie with concertgoers, gave a young fan some Domino's pizza, and then allowed us to have dance break. For a good five minutes, her fans (mainly those in tutus) got to be the center of attention via the big screen.

And then things got back to being weird.

You know the amazing emojis that live in your iPhone? Those things that you send during moments of boredom, when you're not sure what to say, or just want to be mean to your boyfriend without using words?

Well, those came to life last night at the KP concert. Mainly the poo-shaped one, and it made its way around the arena. Again, if you were on drugs last night, shit got real.

As the shebang wound down, Katy gave us one of those fake outs, pretending the show was over.

But then there was an announcement from overhead: "Time for prism vision!" Translation: Put on those special glasses that you got gifted at the door. And once again, poppy dance music rave came to life.

Katy Perry, her people, or all of the above were in an altered state of mind when they created this tour.

And yep, we liked it.

Critic's Notebook

Evening Highlight: We saw Katy Perry with brown hair, black, green, blonde, and rainbow. How did she do it? Really, how?

Personal Bias: Too many children. That is all.

Just a Tip: Come to this concert not sober or don't come at all. But call Uber, kids.

Katy Perry's Setlist:

-"Roar"

-"Wide Awake"

-"This Moment/Love Me"

-"Dark Horse"

-"E.T."

-"Legendary Lovers"

-"I Kissed a Girl"

-"Hot n Cold"

-"International Smile"

-"By the Grace of God"

-"The One That Got Away"

-"Double Rainbow/Ghost"

-"Unconditionally"

-"Megamix Dance Party"

-"Walking on Air"

-"It Takes Two"

-"This is How We Do/Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)"

-"Teenage Dream"

-"California Gurls"

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