Kanye Gets 2 Chainz a Big-Booty Birthday Ho: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

Kanye West and 2 Chainz are two ballin' motherfuckers. And in their most recent music video, they're bossin' on more big booties than Sir Mix-a-Lot in the '90s.

The strange, surreal scene portrayed in "Birthday Song" is half suburban kiddie party, half evening at King of Diamonds.

It's directed by Andreas Nilsson, the same guy behind all the videos for the Knife and Fever Ray, which explains why you might feel like you've ingested too many hallucinogens in the hood.

0:00 - 0:36

It starts with 2 Chainz chillin' in a house in wherever Middle America, singing about all he wants for his birthday is a "big-booty ho." He turns a corner, and suddenly things are a little weird. Some stone-faced dudes move in perfect synchronization with the biggest, yellowest ass you ever did see. There's a big-booty girl birthday cake on the table. People are literally eating her ass.

0:37 - 2:00

We follow a big booty cake into the kitchen where 2 Chainz is chillin' with some bro knockin' back the 40. Suddenly, there's a birthday clown and then 40 man breaks out some killer dance moves. A lil' 2 Chainz mugs the camera real hard. We take the party outside where a few nice guys are getting some lapdances from the very special party guests. The garage door creaks open and smoke drifts out like it's the motherfucking apocalypse.

2:00 - 2:54

Yeezy is now in the building, stunting hard down the street in some kind of Mardis Gras, titty birthday cake bicycle. Some ratchet-ass ho tries to perform a feet-behind-the-head trick as a wild mob of punks runs down the street, wielding hammers and poles.

2:55 - 4:00

What's with all the hammers and poles? It's time to beat the shit out of the birthday clown and his clown car. Not really sure what he ever did wrong, besides maybe not having a giant ass. An energetic little man shakes the camera back into the living room where a bad bitch contest is in full swing. Kanye and 2 Chainz take turns ripping the mike while some fine bitches shake it.

4:00 - 5:09

We follow the pink and yellow ass through the house into the backyard where our trip comes full circle. All our friends are here, shaking their junk, getting wet and wild on the Slip 'N Slide. We're not sure if this is the scariest or most awesome party. But if we we're ever invited to 2 Chainz's birthday, we're definitely going. Maybe we just won't touch the Kool-Aid.

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Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.