A crowd of guys in trucker hats, beanies, and beards, and ladies in Joy Division T-shirts, headbands, and floral rompers drunkenly cheered on the contestants of the Drinking Olympics on the outdoor stage of Blackbird Ordinary.
The festivities, which began well into the night, were held in conjunction with the club's popular Ladies' Night, where the dames in the house are given free Blackbirds -- a dangerous concoction of Seagram's Sweet Tea Vodka, fresh blackberries, and lemonade. There was also music by Deaf Poets and trivia for the brainy in the bunch.
The brave Olympians had to face three rounds of drinking duels: bopping for shots, flip cup, and beer pong.
Out of the teams of four -- the Funky Chickens, Skunk Ape, Turbo Negro, Oh Fuck, the C**ts, the Greys, Where Keeping It Real Goes Wrong, and J Star -- only one heavy drinker would be named the Olympic champion and winner of a $100 bar tab.
Check out the games of the Drinking Olympics decathlon.
Bopping for Shots
After watching these guys down shots of adult lemonade with their mouth as their only tool, our childhood memories of bopping for apples will forever be tainted.
"They had to [put] their hands behind their back and take down each of the three shots faster than their opponent," explained Veronica Gessa, the mistress of ceremony.
As one would expect, the competition got messy; the weakest links met their fate and were eliminated. Only the stronger of the bunch made it to round two.
Cooperation, team effort, and technique were key here.
"Basically to play flip cup, anybody that went to college or knows someone that went to college, knows you just pour beer [PBR, the beer of champions, was the drink of choice] into a cup. You have to drink the beer and place the cup on the table and flip it back upside down," described Gessa.
Two rounds of beer chugging and cup flipping took place. Out of the four teams that participated, only two advanced to the final match of the competition.
It was the Skunk Apes against the Greys, and even though both teams had given their all, only one would be crowned champ.
"It's the last round of the Drinking Olympics, don't lose the balls, guys," teased Gessa.
The heat was on.
"Enough of this eye-to-eye -- release the balls, guys!"
And with that same level of intensity, the guys (and girl) of both teams threw those balls and chugged that beer like a boss.
But only the
strongest drunkest of them all was named victorious, or in this case, doused in alcohol with a $100 bar tab.
"It was persistence," said the Drinking Olympics champ Andres Bedoya. "I had no team at first, but reinforcements came in and saved the day."
"How are you celebrating your victory?"
"I'm spending [the bar tab] now," Bedoya answered.
Spoken like a true champion.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.