DJ Khaled's Seven Most Essential Keys to Success

Perhaps you've been wondering why we haven't really been covering DJ Khaled's spectacular rise from zany hip-hop character to national icon. He's a Miami-based artist. He's ridiculous and fascinating. His story is important and hilarious and inspiring all at once. He meets all our criteria.  

Well, for the past couple of months, we have been working on a DJ Khaled profile. It's this week's cover story, and tomorrow it goes live online.

Khaled's been a known name in Miami since the '90s, but his recent fame can be traced back to a single app: Snapchat. The social media platform gave the rest of the world a glimpse of the Khaled Miamians have known for years — in clubs and on 99 Jamz. We'll get into all this in our feature story, but we figured right now would be a good time to brush up on your Khaled knowledge.

Khaled often broadcasts his many — too many to keep track of — keys to success over Snapchat on a daily basis. So we've compiled a list of DJ Khaled's most essential keys to success for your perusal. 

7. Stay away from they.
Khaled always likes to talk about "they." Essentially, "they" is a synonym for negative people who want to pull you down. They don’t want you to succeed or Jet Ski or own a Rolls-Royce or have a pool or swim in that pool or swim at all. It seems all they really want you to do is sit quietly in a dark cabin with no internet connection far out in the middle of nowhere while you slowly starve to death. In short, they are some serious assholes. And right now, if you’re thinking to yourself: Well, they’ve got a point. Bad news, you are they. 

6. Chef Dee and her incredible breakfasts.
Eating breakfast (usually some iteration of egg whites and turkey bacon/sausage) is one of Khaled's biggest keys to success. Each morning, he walks to the kitchen and proudly Snapchats the "breakfast they don't want you to have," which is prepared by his personal chef, Chef Dee. Chef Dee is rarely smiling and often seems less than enthusiastic about being part of Khaled's snaps. She also makes a shit-ton of lunch every day, which — we hope — Khaled is sharing. 

5. Give 110 percent on the elliptical.
One of Khaled's favorite exercises is the elliptical. He gets nice and sweaty, listens to reggae, and often Snapchats motivational speeches while gliding away like a gazelle made of feathers. It's a low-impact exercise that's safe on the cartilage, and healthy knees are pretty hip-hop in our opinion. 

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Ryan Pfeffer is a contributor and former Miami New Times music editor. After earning a BS from Florida State University, Ryan joined the New Times staff in November 2013 as a web editor.
Contact: Ryan Pfeffer