Welcome to the Avicii Hotel!
Of course, it seems as though the Swede himself is no longer enjoying accommodations at his own ultra-exclusive, luxurious lodging establishment. (He apparently checked out after canceling his show and rushing to the hospital last night.)
But yesterday, before all that drama, we here at Crossfade got a special tour of the Avicii-fied SLS South Beach Hotel. And since almost no one can afford the $800-per-night reservations, we brought back a nice 10-photo sneak peek.
See also: Avicii Rushed to Hospital in Miami
From the street, this year's Avicii Hotel takes a slightly subtler approach with its takeover.
In 2013, the Marlin Hotel flew an Avicii flag from its highest spire while a huge Avicii banner covered the facade.
Out front of the SLS, though, there is only a flashy metallic "Avicii SLS" sign at the curb (convenient for fan photo ops), an Avicii-branded valet station, and an Avicii runway carpet leading ravers and regular guests to the lobby.
The SLS was originally designed by French hotshot Phillippe Starck. And being a whimsical dude, he decided to hang vintage camp photos behind the luxury hotel's check-in desk.
For the Avicii redesign, some of these classic snapshots were replaced with black-and-white pics of the famous Swede. He really is a dead ringer for a 14-year-old kid rowing a canoe.
Walk toward the elevator and Avicii's hanging out there too.
On a flatscreen TV in a fancy frame, his face appears amid darkness, ringed in smoke, sexy and stuff.
Once the ascenseur (as Starck might say), a bell rings ... And yes, it's another Avicii!
The SLS' elevator doors open and the compartment looks full. But that's just because all three walls are showing Phillippe Starck-designed portraits of ideal urbane hotel guests. And naturally, Avicii has been seamlessly (though temporarily) inserted into the mix.
Another fun place to spot the Swede ... An Avicii silhouette is pasted to a window looking out from the media green room and onto the lobby.
But the funnest sighting of all ... A faceless version of the DJ stuck to the mirrors above each urinal in the downstairs men's room. You know, so you can be Avicii while you pee.
See also: Avicii Opening Pop-Up Store, Selling Flip Flops and Condoms During WMC and MMW 2014
Up in the Avicii Hotel's swank rooms, it's all white and flooded with natural light. The bed is otherworldly and plush. The wallpaper evokes King Louis' special salon for les filles-du-joi.
Of course, there is also an Avicii swag bag, just tantalizingly perched atop the breakfast-in-bed table.
Oh, and conveniently, the hotel key (and its little cardboard sleeve) is also Avicii themed.
That way, in the event that a guest becomes so faded that he or she loses the ability to speak, pull up directions on their iPhone, or even remember the name of the luxury lodging establishment at which they are supposed to be staying ...
He or she can just flash the Avicii card and any relatively sober, aware party person should be able to send you stumbling in the direction of the "Avicii Hotel, bro."
But what's in the swag bag?
Some Avicii flip-flops to let those toes breathe during the party. An Avicii hat (which, duh, should only be worn backward) to keep those gorgeous blond locks out of the face. Sunglasses for the eyes. And headphones for the ears.
Plus, an Avicii rubber ducky for going uhntz-uhntz in the tub.
Finally, in the bathroom, there is a cache of Avicii toiletries.
Soap, body wash, condition, and shampoo ... So you can smell just like the Swede, from head to toe to button-pushing finger.
No condoms, though. Those limited-edition Avicii-branded prophylactics are only available at the Avicii One Stop Shop.
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