Anthony Bourdain Slams EDM: "Come Ye Lords and Princelings of Douchedom"

We are all quite aware that food celebrity, television host, prolific author, and hilarious asshole Anthony Bourdain is basically a rock 'n' roll guy.

On the tube, he can often be seen palling around with Queens of the Stone Age's Josh Homme, another funny, prickly professional shit-talker. And the theme song for his latest TV show, CNN's Parts Unknown, is a woozy rocker from Homme and ex-Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan.

But did you know that Bourdain is also a big fan of magic?

Also, he hates "electronic dance music."

See also: Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ

For his most recent Parts Unknown episode, Tony visited Vegas, which, like Miami, is among the international flashpoints of global EDM madness.

And while dining out with magic-slash-comedy pro Penn Jillette, the topic of conversation turned to the battle for supremacy and ticket sales between Sin City's live acts (like, uh, magicians) and all these recent "electronic" invaders.

"These days, for better or worse, live acts, live performers are being squeezed out in favor of EDM, electronic dance music," Tony laments in voiceover. "It's a DJ's world.

"And where once," he mirthfully adds, "they used to say, 'Cocaine is God's way of saying you have too much money' -- now, maybe EDM is.

"There used to be a whole spectrum of entertainers who existed almost entirely in Vegas," Bourdain reminisces. "Danny Gans was huge here. Wayne Newton. They were gods.

"But what's the big money draw now?" he asks, incredulously. "This..."

Uhntz-uhntz, wah-wah, uhntz-uhntz, wah-wah, tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki.

Thus arrives Tony's high sarcastic assessment of the electronic dance music scene: "Come ye lords and princelings of douchedom!

"Hear my clarion call! Anointeth thyself with gel and heavenly body spray! Maketh the sign of the devil horns with thine hands!

"Let there be high-fiving and the hugging of many bros! For this is the kingdom and the power! Now frolic and maketh it to rain!"

Whoa. Haha. Ziiiiiiiiing, bro.

Let's hug.

Crossfade's Top Blogs

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