Ten Alternatives to Miami's Memorial Day Mayhem

When Memorial Day weekend comes along, Miamians tend to get a bit squeamish. Should you stay in town to save money but risk becoming a part of your very own CSI: Miami horror story? Or drop a couple G's and hop on the next flight out of town? It's an annual Sophie's choice.

If you're sticking around, but hoping to avoid this year's madness, you won't be stuck indoors. Here are ten ways to enjoy next weekend while still avoiding all the drama.

10. Turnberry Isle Miami

Instead of being eyeballed by suspicious looking characters in South Beach, why not spend the weekend at Turnberry Isle Miami? There, you and the kiddies can listen to free live music and grub down at their hearty Barbeque Buffet for only $30. Call 305-932-6200.

9. Pérez Art Museum Miami

Not really into barbecues? Let Pérez Art Museum Miami (PAMM) appease your art palate instead, with the Americana and Caribbean: Crossroads of the World exhibition tours on May 26. Here's an added bonus: if you arrive by Metromover, you'll get your entrance admission comped. Visit pamm.org.

8. Whole Foods Aventura

Guess what? It's Whole Food Aventura's B-Day. Celebrate the 15th anniversary of Whole Foods Aventura on Friday, May 23, where you can release all your gluttonous impulses at their cupcake and craft beer tasting event. And if you're one of the first fifty to arrive, you get to take home a Whole Foods Market Brewery Glass! Lucky you!

7. R House

So you'd like to throw back some of G-pa's 'ole cough medicine, but you're still trying to avoid the madness on the other side of the bridge. No worries, for there is still hope to party on and rage within safe confines like R House in Wynwood. The gallery/grub hub is launching its long awaited Happy Hour, which means you'll still be deemed as "relevant" in the wine and spirits scene should you attend next weekend.

6. Marlins Park

Sure, they've been on a bit of a losing streak lately. But instead of kicking an old dog when it's down, go and support our boys while howling out obscenities at the other team in the most embarrassing way possible, and chow down on a Miami Marlins Shrimp Burger from Burger 305 (it's still National Burger Month, you know.) Maybe you'll be that lucky charm the Marlins need in order to kick some ass against the Milwaukee Brewers May 23rd- 25th.

5. The Kampong

Who says you need to be a sloppy jalopy in order to have fun during Memorial Day Weekend? The Kampong in Coconut Grove offers a more civil alternative to spend the weekend, paying tribute to those who have fallen. Once the home of botanist Dr. David Fairchild (yes, the same Fairchild of Fairchild Tropical Gardens), this Indonesian-inspired, 7-acre wonder world is open to the public for guided tours Wednesdays and Saturdays at 10:30 and noon. But hurry. This tropic beauty is only open for tours until June.

4. Mainly Mozart Festival

There are not many classical music connoisseurs in Miami, but they make up a strong, if small, minority. And for those of you who would rather listen Mozart's Symphony No. 40 than Avicii, you'll definitely be into Dmitri Levkovich playing during the Mainly Mozart Festival at the Biltmore on May 25th. It takes only $20 to chill and let the sound of F major's and G minor's consume your eardrums.

3. Schnebly Redland's Winery

True, it's most oftentimes referred to as Casa del Carajo, but if you really want to getaway without, er, getting way, then Homestead's the place to be. In fact, it's home to some pretty righteous wineries like the Schnebly Redland's Winery. On May 23rd-24th, the winery will be hosting a happy hour with live music and a wine tasting. The tropical setting of fish ponds and palm trees while you're feeding into your inner lush bag doesn't hurt either.

2. Coral Gables Museum

Did you know that Miami was once second only to Dubai in the number of construction cranes terrorizing our dense terrain? That's just one of the many Snapple Facts that you'll be schooled on when you visit the "Marking the Millennium: 21st Century Miami Architecture" exhibition at the Coral Gables Museum. Make sure you pencil it in for next weekend, which happens to be the last weekend of the exhibition.

1. Get Out of Dodge

If you're still not ready to trust Miami and all of its Memorial Day madness, then go ahead and say, "Peace out, Miami," book a one way ticket to Yuma, Arizona, and never come back. Because if you can't handle Miami at her worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve her at her best. We love you, MIA. Even if you are a crazy bitch come this time of year.

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