Sex can be hard. The exchanging of body fluids is never an easy thing to swallow.
Need a hand? Things like social lubricant (in the form of booze) and actual lubricant (KY jelly) turn things up while dialing awkwardness down. Are you going to be trashed for every sexual encounter though, just to make things go down (and in) a little smoother? That's not sexy, at least the guys from Chippendales don't think so.
In celebration of their extended stay in Miami at Mansion, which starts next weekend, and Valentine's Day of course, the Chippendales fellas have shared a little more with us than just the tip, so you don't suck, except for when it's appropriate. We got throat deep with them, talking top sex tips, best and worst dates, and what they look for in a partner.
Tip 1: Talk dirty and, once in a while, get dirty. Rub warm chocolate on your partner or feed her strawberries. I love hot tamales, so eating these right before makes kissing and beyond that much better.
Tip 2: A woman's body is like an instrument that you can play only if you find the right tuning, AKA her "spots." Try starting behind the ear and move to the neck, back and thighs. Like a slow tease.
Worst date:I was on an awful date with a girl that was so rude and demanding during dinner. She was texting, instagraming and taking calls while we were trying to have a conversation. She even brought up her ex and asked what type of car and phone I have. I couldn't wait for the night to end.
Best Date:Most of them are pretty great.
What I look for in a partner:Girls that are wise, humble, outgoing and have a good sense of humor. It is also important that they care about their fitness and appearance.
Tip 1: A fresh, clean scent is always sexy in the bedroom. Mint is great because it stimulates all the senses and is uplifting, so you feel like you have extra energy for the night.
Tip 2: Role play. In the Chippendales show, we are continuously playing different characters on stage from a construction worker to navy officers, etc. and it drives ladies crazy. It also does in the bedroom.
Worst date:It was a blind date and we had nothing in common. Cut it short and split ways.
Best Date:Meeting a complete stranger, and we spent the day together. I count it as the best day and date and it still has yet to be topped.
What I look for in a partner:Compatibility, a great smile and someone who likes sports.
Luis De La Torre
Tip 1: Always be a good girl with bad tendencies in bed. I've never met a good girl who didn't like her hair pulled a little.
Tip 2: If it feels good, go with it. I like to put a little R&B mood music in the background -- it's interesting to see how my partner reacts to the songs/beats.
Worst date: Went on a date with someone I met online. She had a very old photo of herself as her profile picture and looked nothing like her photo in person.
Best Date:The girl was a little nervous for the date and got buzzed right before. It ended up being an entertaining night and so much fun.
What I look for in a partner: Unconditional love and a fun attitude.
Tip 1: Be clean; cleanliness is next to godliness. Translation: take it to the shower and get soapy together.
Tip 2: If she is into it, tie her up. Most girls like when a man takes charge in the bedroom. But don't forget to cook her breakfast in the morning.
Worst date: She showed up drunk(ish) and got drunker. Then she got sick in public, and since I barely knew her, I took care of the bill and texted her friend to come pick her up.
Best Date: I was taken out for all-you-can-eat sushi and frozen yogurt, then surprised with tickets to the premiere of Sharknado.
What I look for in a partner: I look for a complete understanding of my corny jokes and one who will push me with my life goals and not hold me back.
Tip 1: Just like being a good running back or point guard, change pace and directions until you find what works and stick with it. It also helps to try new locations outside of the bedroom for a little spontaneity.
Tip 2: Completely tune into and make mental notes of how she reacts to things you try (every girl has a favorite place to be kissed). Try blindfolding her so she doesn't know what to expect and all of her other senses are heightened.
Worst date: I took a girl that I really liked to a movie for our first date. My car ended up breaking down and after what seemed like forever, we finally made it to the movies. It got so late that she fell asleep during the movie and ended up snoring so loud it made everyone around give us dirty looks. Definitely an embarrassing and not so great date.
Best Date: Rock music ice-skating where I had to teach her how to skate. It was one of those romantic-comedy type of evenings, complete with schnapps and hot chocolate.
What I look for in a partner: She needs to be active both mentally and physically or she wont be able to keep up.
Tip 1: Always make sure it is about the other person and not you! If you are pleasing the other person, they will think you are a great lover and will want to come back for more! And if you both are on the same page when it comes to that, the experience is even better!
Tip 2: Don't get too freaky and let yourself go on the first date! Make them want to come back for more to see what it is you were holding out on.
Worst date: When the girl I was with ended up getting trashed at a show we went to and then got sick. She then she passed out in the bathroom stall, and I had to send in people to make sure she was still alive. Then, getting her home was a mess because she was passed out again and couldn't tell me where to go. Disaster! Ladies, don't get hammered on dates! Not a good look!
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Best Date: My best date wasn't even a date. It was two people getting to know each other. What started out as a friends' night out and we ended up staying up all night into the early morning hanging out and talking. Before we knew it the sun had come up and we had been talking for hours. The next thing we knew it was breakfast time. I cooked breakfast and we fell asleep with a belly full of half eaten food. When we woke up, well, lets just say there wasn't much talking after that!
What I look for in a partner: I look for realness. Everyone is so fake these days and everyone has an agenda, it seems. Looking for someone that wants to have fun, settle down and not be the jealous type. Insecure people are so unattractive. Be confident in you and the relationship and it will last a long time. I also like dorks, people shouldn't take them self so seriously. Enjoy life and each other!
Send your story tips to Cultist at firstname.lastname@example.org.