Long, Hard, and Full of Seamen

Power. Grease. Hot engines. Long, phallic vessels throttling through liquid off Miami Beach. Some people might mistake the Miami Super Boat Grand Prix as just another Gay Pride event, until of course they notice the thousands of hot girls in bikinis lined up onshore. What is it about powerboats that...

By P. Scott Cunningham

April 16, 2009

Audio By Carbonatix

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Power. Grease. Hot engines. Long, phallic vessels throttling through liquid off Miami Beach. Some people might mistake the Miami Super Boat Grand Prix as just another Gay Pride event, until of course they notice the thousands of hot girls in bikinis lined up onshore. What is it about powerboats that chicks dig? Why are they drawn to them like corruption to the Miami-Dade County Commission? We’re not sure, but we do know you should get a good spot on the sands of Miami Beach between the Fontainebleau and Eighth Street to catch the race this Sunday.

But before that, don’t miss Friday’s Dry Pits event. First of all, it’s called “Dry Pits,” which is awesome. Second, it involves all the race boats sitting on stilts in Bicentennial Park for your ogling pleasure, which must be like porn for people who are into boats, and you know how we at New Times like to compare things to porn.
April 17-19, 9 a.m., 2009

P. Scott Cunningham

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