Hello, Kitty: One of my first memories of sexual arousal happened while watching a woman rush behind a building to pee. Ever since, I've been infatuated with watching women urinate, specifically in public. There's something about the bravado of a woman who exposes herself by either dropping her pants or lifting her dress and sliding her panties down that turns me all they way up! Maybe it's the whistling sound caused by the force of urine coming from the vajayjay. I love seeing pee pound the pavement, form a river, and run 20 yards to the nearest sewer! I can't imagine that everyone will understand this wild fetish/fantasy. My question is, at what point should I describe this fantasy when dating someone? Should I feel weird about it? Am I gross? Do you think this fantasy will grow?
Hey, P: If you don't feel you can tell a date about your sexual desires — for fear of judgment, ridicule, or whatev — it's probably best you don't. Your fears about being "weird" and "gross" are normal; however, your internal struggle creates unnecessary stress, trepidation, and sexual frustration. Fuck it. If you beat yourself up, it'll be that much harder to communicate it to your mate. Your particular fetish is voyeuristic and naughty, but not worthy of making you into a recluse. Trust me, many women would be happy to know their roadside tinkle is turning someone on.
In our culture, female urination is generally a closed-door ritual. It's absolutely fine for a man to whip out his member in virtually any dark corner or open-air urinal, but women are expected to place their piss in a toilet bowl, far away from prying eyes. Any other arrangement is usually the by-product of a drunken night, the lack of a latrine, or an ill-planned camping trip. The fact that this public act turns you on isn't surprising — fetishes often result from participating in or watching an act that isn't embraced by the majority. Can you have a healthy relationship while hiding your urination fetish from your mate? Sure, but imagine how awesome it would be if you could get your (yet unnamed) girlfriend in on the fun. Because she has likely lived her life peeing in private, it might take some cajoling to get her to indulge you without judgment. If she can't handle it, it's tough for me to tell you to leave her. But with luck, you'll progress into various aspects of urine play. Ease into it. Meow.