Beckham, Shmeckham: Meet the Hot Young Soccer Hunks of Miami United

If you're looking for a hot, young sports hunk, you could do a lot worse than a hot, young soccer hunk. They don't get weird steroid bodies like baseball players, don't burst into flames like NASCAR drivers and, unlike in greyhound racing, they are usually humans.

But where to find hot, young soccer hunks in Miami? Why, on Miami United, of course! Until crusty, old "football" carcass David Beckham brings his ugly team to town, Miami United is the city's only professional soccer team.

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B. Caplan