We love bashing our own city. We'll instantaneously bite the head off any non-Miamians who dares talk down about our town, but sometimes it seems we take a bit too much pleasure in reserving that shit talking for ourselves. There's plenty of reason to, but sometimes we need to be reminded of why we're all pretty lucky to live here. So in the spirit of our New York compatriots who recently put together their own list, we present to you 50 reasons why we love living in Miami. No, it is not just a listing of the average temperatures in January and February. There's a hell of a lot more to love about this place.
50. Unlike other cities there's none of the snobby attitude over who is "a real Miamian." No one's actually from here, and if you've been here long enough to get at least half of this list we'll consider you one of our own.
49. That the fact everyone else now hates the Miami Heat only makes us love them more. In fact, we wouldn't have it any other way.
48. Not only is topless sunbathing legal, but it's really no big deal.
47. Most of the racist white folk moved away years ago.
46. The guy who dances to oldies coming out of his beat up boombox in his platform shoes on Lincoln Road is the hardest working man in show business; we don't care what anyone says.
45. Art Basel Miami Beach and everything connected to it is the world's most highbrow 24/7 weeklong party.
44. Winter Music Conference and everything connected to it is the world's most down-n-dirty 24/7 weeklong party.
43. Our Catholic priests are too busy knocking up strippers or fondling their girlfriends on the beach to diddle little boys.
42. We're the city that sleeps past noon.
41. Miami is cuter than an inter-uterine. (Did Bea Arthur and Betty White ever duet on a song about another city? No. No they did not.)
40. Our hipsters are mostly tolerable. The few douchey ones are just saving up to move to Williamsburg anyway.
39. Dressing for the cold means wearing a hoody with your flip flops.
38. At this point our Cuban food is more authentic than the Cuban food in Cuba.
37. Everyone thinks we're all dumb, but we've yet to meet a single person in this town who couldn't teach us at least one invaluable and ingenious lesson.
36. Not only has our local art scene emerged as one of the best in the country, but it's also probably the least stuffy and most fun art scene in the world. Ain't no party like a Second Saturday party.br />
35. If your career ever takes you anywhere else, whether you realize it at first or not, it's just so you can hurry up and move back to Miami to retire in style sooner.
34. Lime Fresh Mexican Grill, Pizza Rustica and Pollo Tropical beat Chipotle, Dominos, KFC or pretty much any other fast food or fast casual restaurant hands down.
33. Our clubs and bars are open later than pretty much anywhere else, and even if you don't stay out til 5 a.m., it's nice to know you won't be hassled home until you're good and ready.
32. Even if you're an hour late to something, you're not really late. It's Miami time.
31. Our Republicans are just Democrats who are too stubborn to admit it.
30. Watching local high school football games is a sneak peek into the future of the NFL.
29. We've somehow managed to trick all the tourists into thinking Ocean Drive is the best part of South Beach. That way there's less of them to spoil our fun in the rest of SoBe.
28. Everyone dances when "Lookout Weekend" and "Face Down Ass Up" come on. Everyone groans when "Welcome to Miami" or "I'm in Miami Bitch" come on. Our real anthems don't need the name of our city in them.
27. Sweat Records and Churchill's are next door to each other.
26. This city's outpouring of support following the earthquake in Haiti was pretty inspiring. We may be aloof, but we have a hell of a heart when it matters.
