Audio By Carbonatix
Last season on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Caroline Manzo’s sons, Albie and Christopher were seen plugging some sort of black water. The boys are known for hare-brained ideas (anyone want to finance a combination strip club/car wash in Jersey?), plus it’s reality television, so I just thought it was another hour of mindless television that I would never get back from my short life.
To my surprise, while shopping at the Coconut Grove Milam’s, I found it! A black bottle that said blk. At $1.69, it was cheap enough for me to pick it up and try it. Even better — I brought it into Short Order’s weekly blogger meeting.
You might recall that for a while, we had a weekly Short Order Taste Test segment, where a blogger would bring in a food item and the other bloggers would taste and rate the item.
Imagine the surprise when several bloggers didn’t want to try it. OK, I will admit that when I opened the bottle and poured, I realized that the bottle wasn’t black — the water was. Really. The bottle was clear. This water looked like the stuff that you’re forced to drink when you’re stranded out in the woods. Bear Grylls drinks this in survival training. Real people shouldn’t have to pay for it.
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Blk. Water, by the way,
gets its color by adding trace fulvic minerals to clean, beautiful
Canadian spring water. Fulvic minerals are derived from prehistoric
plant compounds. Seventy million years turns the plants to black ash,
apparently. The website claims that the fulvic minerals contain 77
trace minerals and electrolytes that help quench your thirst better than
regular water.
There’s a moment of disconnect between what you’re
seeing and what you’re tasting. It looks like dirt, but it doesn’t
taste bad. It does have some mineral finish. In the end, though, one of our bloggers summed up the experience, “It tastes like … water.”
Conclusion? Kinda cool gimmick (we could see it added to some vodka for
a new drink, maybe a “black diamond”), but really? Short Order bloggers
agreed — unanimously — they’ll stick to old-fashioned clear water.
Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.
