But for those lucky enough to have already been stuck with that beautiful miracle needle full of life-saving elixir, finding out more about the company that developed the particular vaccine now coursing through our bodies has become somewhat of a game.
And with any game comes competition. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the #TeamVaccine wars, where randomly being assigned the Pfizer, Moderna, or Johnson & Johnson vaccine means you now ride or die with them and their research. Possibly, literally.
As more vaccine doses get administered — to date, the number is nearly 8 million in Florida, and almost 1 million in Miami-Dade alone — people on the receiving end are celebrating the only way one does when they have good news: by posting a selfie.
If you don't post a picture of your vaccination card, it didn't happen. At the very least, you need to jump on Twitter and proclaim which team you've signed a lifetime contract with:
It's with great pride and humility that I announce today I am taking my talents to and am fully committed to #TeamPfizer. I'd like to thank the coaches and staff for this recruiting process and have no further updates at this time.— Fortlandia (@Fortlandia) March 17, 2021
Hey #TeamPfizer, what's our mascot? We need to rally behind a common emblem to crush our rival clan, the Modernites.— A Lawn Gnome (@the_scooby_snak) March 19, 2021
Are we choosing vaccines like our teams in PokemonGo?? like if I get Moderna am I forever going to be on team Moderna and have to join in Medina raids and take over Pfizer gyms? #vaccine #teammoderna #JohnsonAndJohnsonVaccine— Kyle Sapp (@Shamgar333) March 16, 2021
Officially on #TeamModerna. I didn’t get a choice, but if you ain’t rocking with Moderna I ain’t rocking with you— john rendleman (@johnrendleman) March 17, 2021
So do we now create social groups like Pfizer, Moderna, J&J, and AZ? #TeamModerna— Greg Sachse (@GregSachse) March 19, 2021
As you can see, it's tense in these vaccine streets. Like some sort of summer-camp color war might break out. There could be kickball competitions and relay races on the docket. The winner gets ice cream.
You moderna people are so snooty. #TeamPfizer.— the gater is anti-sedition (@Andy_Lofgren) March 17, 2021
But it's clear that receiving a vaccine — any vaccine — has produced a euphoria the likes of which we can only hope everyone will get to experience sooner rather than later. The importance of being vaccinated is much more of a primary concern than which one you're receiving.
So join a team, any team, and let it be known who you're rockin' with.