If switching races was as easy as trading players in professional sports, African-Americans would swap Tiger Woods for Prince Harry in a heartbeat. In recent days, Woods proved he's an Uncle Tom, while the young princeling is breaking down royal racial barriers by getting engaged to an American woman who is half black.
Woods has always had a problem with his blackness. His father, Earl, was African-American and his mother, Kultida, is a native of Thailand. But in 1997, when he was a teen phenom dominating golf, he described himself as a "Cablinasian" to Oprah Winfrey. Woods recently got a rude awakening about how the world views him, though. When he was arrested for driving under the influence May 29, the Jupiter Police officer who wrote the report listed Woods' race as "B" for black and described his complexion as "dark."
Now that he is trying to repair his image as he prepares for another comeback in the lily-white world of golf, Woods decided it would be a good idea to play a few rounds with the racist-in-chief, Donald Trump, this past weekend. It was a public-relations attempt to show the world that Tiger is still one of the greatest golfers of all time, even if it meant he was putting up a middle finger to black athletes in other sports.
Trump has been on a Twitter rampage targeting NFL players who kneel during the National Anthem to protest police brutality against African-Americans. The president also attacked NBA star Stephen Curry for his refusal to visit the White House to be honored for winning the 2017 NBA championship. And, of course, there's Trump's history of attacking Barack Obama's birth certificate and trying to undo everything America's first black president accomplished.
Yet none of that stopped Woods from playing the green with Trump, who called the NFL protestors "sons of bitches" and who embraces the racist alt-right movement by calling them "fine people." Tiger wanted to show his sponsors that he is willing to obey his white masters.
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Meanwhile, Prince Harry is showing he is down with brown. He will marry actress Meghan Markle, whose father is white and whose mother is black. Markle doesn't shy away from who she is. In a 2015 first-person profile published in Elle, she describes the ignorance and racism she experienced as a biracial woman, such as the time some asshole called her mom a "nigger" while they were leaving a concert.
"My skin rushed with heat as I looked to my mom," Markle wrote. "I was trying to temper the rage-filled air permeating our small silver Volvo. I shared my mom's heartache, but I wanted us to be safe. We drove home in deafening silence, her chocolate knuckles pale from gripping the wheel so tightly."
To see a British royal embrace a strong biracial woman as his soulmate makes Prince Harry an honorary brother. In fact, he is blacker than Tiger will ever be.
Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.