Columns

Mugshots Friday: Face Full

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 6/07

Charges: Driving with license suspended (habitual) and resisting an officer without violence

Two things:

1. You totally thought his charges were going to be worse than driving with a suspended license and resisting arrested, didn't you? Maybe you need to stop and reflect about what that says about you.

2. Do you think he started with the idea of covering his face in tattoos or just ran out of space elsewhere on his body?

Arrested: 6/07

Charges: Trespassing

Bro, No Shave November ended like six months ago.

Arrested: 6/11

Charges: Armed Robbery

*prayer emoji*

Arrested: 6/07

Charges: Cocaine Possession, Battery and Threatening a Public Servant

Bleach ...just say no.

Arrested: 6/05

Charges: Marijuana Possession with Intent to Sell, Cocaine Possession

In case you're wondering, yes, indeed her booking info does list her actual eye color as brown.

Arrested: 6/09

Charges: Disorderly Intoxication and Drinking in Public

"Yeah man, just tat up my face so it looks like I'm crying everything. Just bawling out crosses, words, daggers, actual tears. Pretty much everything. I want to look like I'm crying all the time."

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Munzenrieder