Can it really have been only a week ago that The Man With The Dented Head exploded the internet and sent our switchboards into hyperdrive? We'll have an update on him -- and how he got his injuries -- next week. In the meantime, Miami-Dade's jails have netted a far more mellow crew this week. Still, we probably wouldn't want to share a desert island with a couple of them.
Charged With: Knowingly driving without a license
This would be Tony Montana today if Sosa's gunmen hadn't gotten to him.
Charged With: Armed robbery and aggravated battery
Okay, so we have FTW (Fuck the World, we're guessing) using bullets as periods, GOONING, ALIZEY, and... Is that 100% GOON above the eyebrow? You may think it's all good news this guy is off the street, but the 12-year-old girl who does his tattoos is despondent.
Charged With: Trespassing after warning
We like the cut of this guy's jib. "Did I do that?" We're calling this the Eurkel mugshot.
Charged With: Habitually driving with a suspended license
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His beard stretches all the way back to the scene of the crime.
Charged With: Cocaine possession, resisting arrest.
Our editor was like, "Nobody knows who Poirot is," and then we were all like: "Chuck, just because you don't want PBS religiously doesn't mean our readers don't. They demand strong intellectual content!"