Genius Wearable Towel Inventor Is Confused by Regular Towels

Genius Wearable Towel Inventor Is Confused by Regular Towels

"You must remember that... half of the population is dumber than average," Bob Garfield, a writer for

Advertising Age,tells the Washington Post


You don't have to remind us, Bob -- we watch Miami Social every week

Star Ariel Stein, who's cast in the role of making all the other Socials seem smart, and his brother Zoni are behind the would-be sensation of the wearable towel: a towel with arm holes for people who either aren't content with regular towels or sadly frustrated by the complicated task of using them. 

Sensing a web-traffic-baiting human interest story in the Herald's back yard, the Post zooms in for an interview with Zoni. 

"I've always had this inventive kind of streak," says Stein, 30, who lives in Miami and works for an investment firm when he's not pushing towels. "I always see what bothers me. I write down lists of what bothers me." Like the fact that red wine should be served warm and white wine should be served cold and there's no way to store them both in the same bottle -- that bothers him.

What does that even mean? I'm pretty sure the one wine/one bottle system works pretty well for everyone. If putting peanut butter and jelly in the same jar didn't take off, red wine/white wine combo bottles are probably destined to fail. Much like the ratings for Miami Social did, and this wearable towel will too. 

Then again, the wearable towel does fill one niche. See, we here in Miami are so jealous of Northerners, who get to partake in the wonders of the Snuggie and Slanket, while sadly here it's just too hot most of the time for us to really get the most out of our $19.99 investment. So hooray for the wearable towel for giving people in the subtropics a chance to look just as stupid as the lardos in snowland who don't know how to use a blanket. 

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