Crispin Porter + Bogusky Will Make Baby Carrots "Extreme" and "Sexy"

Everyone's favorite crazy Miami-based ad agency, Crispin Porter + Bogusky, has done a hell of a job selling Americans cheap dead cow meat patties and oily potato slices through its work for Burger King. Now the outside-of-the-box ad agency's next goal is to trick us into eating something nutritious. The leading producers of baby carrots have hired the firm to make the healthful lunch standard appear "extreme" and "sexy."

>CP+B's game plan for working the same magic with the carrot that it did with the Whopper, according to USA Today :

• Packaged in Doritos-like bags. Three different designs are planned.
• Sold out of cool school vending machines. Tests are underway in Cincinnati and Syracuse, NY.

• Sporting slogans like this on billboards and packs: "The original orange doodles."

• Touting seasonal tie-ins. Coming this Halloween: scarrots.

• Offering a phone app powered by the sound of folks munching carrots in real time.

• Airing TV spots that tout baby carrots as extreme, futuristic, and even, yes, sexy.

Sexy baby carrots? Don't most people find full-size carrots sexier?

Regardless, CP+B is the modern-day Don Draper. Not everyone can come up with marketing innovations. Take, for instance, the suggestion of ad psychologist Carol Moog, who is critical of the campaign: "Perhaps putting an orange (but natural) dusting on carrots that mimics Cheetos." Barf.

Anyway, from the minds that brought you the subservient chicken, here is what the future of baby carrots looks like.

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