Flotsam

Crazy Pianos in the Grove: Lose the Shorts

"You realize how hot it is in Miami, right?" I told the  tall, blond european manager  at Crazy Pianos in the Grove .

 

"It is not proper." he replied. . 

 

"But this is the Grove!" I said, baffled by his stern manner. " How long have you lived here?"

 

"Four weeks," he said, then turned to more properly dressed clientele. "Now you will know the rules."

 

I was wearing shorts. "Well you just wait, no one wears pants in the summer."

 

Crazy Pianos is part of a chain that began in the Netherlands. It's one of the newest additions to Cocowalk in Miami's own wannabe hippie wonderland, the Grove. It's in the space occupied for years by Cafe Tu Tu Tango. The four million dollar remodel has given the building quite a face lift.


With a breezy terrace, and reasonably priced drinks, it really is not that bad. There are cheesy paintings of pseudo celebrities that massacre the walls; and the fake trees make me feel like I'm drinking at Mickey Mouse's house. But dueling pianos and bad impressions of Franbk Sinatra are at center stage. Drink specials include 3 gallons of beer for $130, which anyone who has bought a keg knows is no deal at all.

 

So why he fashion police?

 

 According to Jay, a manager I spoke to this morning, "We are trying to 'alienate' the people who don't dress properly." (I should note here they eventually let me in, but told me to come better dressed next time.) "Dress shorts are okay. I mean no athletic shorts. Same goes for the women."

 

By keeping out the people who are dressed down, Crazy Pianos is more likely to stay relaxed, because "when you dress casually you are more likely to be rambunctious."

"He concludes the conversation by telling me they want to keep out the sweaty people, because they will ruin the remodel.

 

 Which is funny, because I thought drinking at a bar was what made me crazy and sweaty, but I guess it was actually my naked knees.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Whitney Roux
Contact: Whitney Roux