The authorities are onto your old cocaine-stuffed-into-coconuts routine. Your drug subs have been getting busted by the Coast Guard at an alarming rate. Even disguising pounds of cocaine as a replica World Cup trophy didn't work out so well last time you tried.
So if you're a Colombian cartel boss, what's next? Disguising your couriers as nuns and stuffing their habits with pounds of yeyo, of course.
Sadly, that brilliant scheme didn't work out so well either. The problem was, when a flight landed at Colombia's San Andres Island last weekend, security guards immediately noticed that a group of three nuns leaving the plane appeared nervous.
When the cops looked more closely at their outfits, they realized the "fabric didn't look right" either, Capt. Oscar Davila tells the AP.
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Confronted by security agents, the faux nuns quickly gave up the charade, breaking down into tears and claiming that dire poverty had forced them into smuggling drugs.
Police looked under the ladies' habits and found four pounds of coke strapped to the legs of each fake nun.
Time to get more creative, cartels. Nineteenth-century dandies with cocaine under their top hats? College mascots with their cartoonish heads packed full of white magic? COCAINE PANTS.