Jermaine, America's umpteenth most popular Jackson, is considering a homophonic surname switch.
Michael's barely relevant celebrity brother has filed a name-change petition in Los Angeles, according to TMZ. And yeah ... Jermaine Jackson wants to legally become "Jermaine Jacksun" for "artistic reasons."
The artist formally known as Jermaine Jackson released his last studio record in 1991. He's going to need a little more than a vowel to regain relevancy.
Here are three other names besides Jacksun with a U that he should consider.
Adding an extra O to Jackson can totally breathe new life into J.J's career. After all, Jacksoon sounds French. And France is fucking classy, man.
Jehovah W. Jackson
As an homage to his Jehovah's Witness upbringing (he's since converted to Islam), adapting the Hebrew name of the God of Israel could be a killer PR move. But the knock-knock jokes would be endless.
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Example: Knock-Knock! Who's there? Jehovah! Jehovah who? Witness? No. Jehovah Jackson. Sorry, still not interested.
Jermaine's been hanging off his late baby brother's nutsack since the mid 1960s. He might as well go full exploit and carry the MJ name into the Gary, Indiana sunset.