Don't be a drag, just be a queen ... Or a male bartender dressed up as Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy, Ivanna Shaker, Roxy Rodriguez, and the rest of the fierce bitches at Blackbird Ordinary's Speed Drag.
Male bartenders from the Broken Shaker, Haven, and other local watering holes unleashed their inner drag to raise funds for breast cancer awareness in support of Speed Rack, the all-female bartending competition, going down today at 5 p.m. at Avenue D Jazz & Blues Lounge.
"We wanted to create a platform for women in the cocktail industry," explained Ivy Mix of Speed Rack. "We also wanted to do something for the boobies and figured it would be a great party."
Speed Rack may be a liquor-fueled bash for badass females, but no one knows how to party more than the queens of Speed Drag.
And as Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" blasted from the backyard patio, the divas at Blackbird got rowdy and shared their favorite drink recipes for fabulous femme fatales.
Midnight Dickens (Mike Parish of Diageo Bar and president of the United States Bartenders Guild) was walking around in a bright pink tutu, fishnet stalkings, and leather whip.
"I'm Midnight Dickens, that's my first pet name and the name of the street I grew up in," she said with a tone of sass in her voice.
"My drink would be called Bitches!" she shrieked. "Because bitches love seasonal fruit and are sweet and amazing, like my drink."
Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy
"I would mix a half-ounce raspberry liqueur, half-ounce Mandarine Napoleon, half-ounce passion fruit, 3/4-ounce lemon juice and simple syrup," described Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy (AKA Isaac Grillo of Haven).
"It would be called Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy 'cause it's sweet and sour and sexy," she added.
Naming a drink after yourself? You're such a diva, Thunderpussy!
"I would serve a Hanky Panky but use Chartreuse instead of vermouth, gin, Fernet Branca, and add bubbles," explained Miss Hanky Panky (or Chad Phillips of the Social Club).
"Bubbles make everything better!"
"Donatella Versace is all Miami," laughed Donatella herself (Freddy Diaz of AlambiQ).
"So I would make it sweet and Miami-oriented using local fruits from farmers to support South Florida. It would be a well-balanced cocktail."
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There's nothing we love more than a diva with a conscious.
The Princess of Persia (better known as Philip) was enchanting the crowd with her black chiffon skirt and white veil.
"I would make a Cosmo, but use tequila instead of vodka because it's feminine yet manly at the same time, like me at the present moment," she smirked. "It would be called a Dirty Chick."
The Lube Sour
Rosa (Gabriel Orta of the Broken Shaker) was looking ever so lovely in her straw skirt, floral bikini top, and Hawaiian lei.
"I would create the Lube Sour with peach, coconut, and amaretto Cîroc, lemon juice, simple syrup, with red lipstick on the rim," she explained.
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"And that would be your lipstick."
What a naughty biatch.