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Around the World in 80 Decibels: Otto von Schirach with Nastie in the Netherlands

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I don't know about you, but when I was in high school I would sit in class and daydream, often whisking myself away to a magical place in my mind. Sometimes I would imagine myself less fat and awkward. Other times I'd see myself flying all over the world meeting midgets and eating waffles in Belgium. I could also easily imagine Otto daydreaming as well. Russian chicks dancing naked to his music, a robot that plays Black Sabbath, and people feeling the Triangle of Bass. Who would ever imagine that what we were actually envisioning in our heads was the Gogbot Festival, a three day Multi Media Arts Mega Fest in Enschede, The Netherlands with our favorite superhero of sound, Otto von Schirach, headlining. This year's festival featured futuristic art that literally blew our minds.

Enjoying some down time between dinner and sound check, we wander around this massive art installation attached to an old church that seemed older than Christ himself. As our eyes feasted on the art powered scenery, we pass a stage with an odd performance and it's not surprising to me that Otto recognizes the lunatic on stage. Noticing the look of confusion on my face he says, "Nastie, this is so epic. We are watching Passenger of Shits under a giant cross." Crazed musicians, a five century old medieval church, interactive robotic works of art, we were flying high with no visit to the coffee shops needed. The festival is slammed like calle ocho during Calle Ocho.

It's thirty minutes to showtime and we are in our dressing room preparing our bodies and minds for what would later be described as debauchery personified. Dressed and ready to go, we pop in the dressing room next to ours to meet some special additions to our performance. Five tall slender Russian girls and a midget, they are the girls of neverporn.com, a Russian website. One part Suicide Girls, one part Cold War, all parts I wanna squeeze.

As we take the stage, Otto jumps right in with Miami's new anthem, "Flamingo," as Mr. Strange walks in the door. With him comes a piercing boom and a blinding white light. A glowing triangle appears and hovers over Otto. Unscathed, he instantly begins performing, "It's The End of the World," as a giant vortex appears and opens in the triangle without warning. We are all sucked in and transported to another dimension of time and Bass, where planets orbit around atmospheres of sound.  I chase a midget on the stage, a half dozen Commie cuties shake what Stalin gave them, and once again Miami's masked marauder, Otto von Schirach, gloriously continues on his quest to save the galaxy from musical monotony.

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