Before his death last November, Walter Mercado left us one final gift: a horoscope with New Year's Eve rituals designed to help us live our best lives in 2020. Goodness knows what Walter would say if he were still here to ride out this dumpster-fire-on-a-roller-coaster of a year with us. The kind, encouraging words of everyone's favorite cape-wearing astrologer, imparted over a 50-year career, will remain with us forever, as will his legacy. Not just in the bathroom at Stephen's Deli in Hialeah, either, but in our hearts. Everything Walter gave, he gave con mucho, mucho amor.

A bright red neon sign advertising a SEXY SHOP draws the eye to an otherwise nondescript shopping center off West 49th Street in Hialeah. This tiny but mighty store is efficiently packed with goodies that lubricate, vibrate, penetrate, castigate, and otherwise titillate. If you're thinking you'd rather buy your unmentionables online, think again: The Sexy Box provides a comforting, intimate shopping experience with a knowing staff ready to help. If you're a shy first-timer who's never been to a sex shop in person, there are plenty of racks of crotchless panties to hide your red cheeks behind. And if you're a pro, the paddles, ball gags, and spreader bars are to the right at the front of the shop. Bonus points for cleanliness, great customer service, pretty lingerie (including plus sizes), and eye-poppingly large dildos and butt plugs. We're especially fond of the abuela-like employee who patiently talked us through some of the baddest toys in the place, totally sin pena. Get your Sexy on from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Saturday.

You may or may not be aware of a massive Hialeah sex shop with a facade that for years was painted in flames. Caliente Adult Superstore recently got an all-new paint job, with murals reminiscent of what you'd see in Wynwood — but inside, you'll find all of the same naughty magic. If you're looking to up your lingerie game and are fond of the studded, the strappy, the lacy, or the teeny-tiny, look no further. Caliente appears to have every conceivable piece of lingerie out there — probably some you didn't even know existed. When you walk through the doors, corsets, boy shorts, thongs, body stockings, costumes and pasties are on the left. Blowjob underwear, jockstraps, briefs, G-strings, and slings are on the right. Women's lingerie ranges in size from small to 4X. Caliente is the X-rated version of a candy store, so spend some time browsing the toys and DVD collection if you're so inclined; doors are open daily from 10 a.m. to midnight.