They say life is a series of checks and balances and that nothing is perfect. The price we pay to live in a world-class tourist destination with a growing population is traffic — lots of it. Sometimes the car you love turns into a hellish prison. Even that borrowed Porsche Cayenne can become a gilded cage of doom. Of all the twisted highways and byways, there is no piece of asphalt more maddening in Miami than the stretch of South Dixie Highway from the end of I-95 to SW 27th Avenue, the entryway to Coconut Grove. Or should we just call it the gateway to Hell? You swoop down off the interstate and then, abruptly, come to a complete standstill. It doesn't matter what day or time. You're not going anywhere. This stretch of road that should take, oh, five minutes to traverse, can take a half-hour, 45 minutes, six months? And that's on a good day. Just try this route on a festival day (and there are oh so many festivals in Coconut Grove) or when it rains, and you're in for a world of hurt. Why is this road worse than every other in Miami? It could be the confusion that occurs when the interstate just ends. It could be that it seems like the only route to all points south like the Grove, Coral Gables, and South Miami. Mix in bad drivers, lost tourists, and a heavily populated residential area, and you have the road to perdition. So you have a choice to make: Never, ever go south of Brickell again (which sucks when you want a burger from Shake Shack), or simply avoid South Dixie Highway and take SW Eighth Street west to 27th Avenue and hang a left. You'll thank us for the tip.