Eberjey

Lingerie is the weapon of choice for seduction. It's time to make sure you're well armed. Thankfully, Miami has the killer lacy armory to stock up for any sexual battle for attention. Eberjey Intimates is Dade's ultimate stop for lingerie, loungewear, and swimwear. Founders Ali Mejia and Mariela Rovito, who recognize what makes a gal feel fierce in her undies, have curated a staggering collection of fashion cuts that have been featured in the wardrobes of femme fatales such as Liv Tyler, Cameron Diaz, and Keira Knightley. There's everything from an eco-friendly green line to couture swimwear, but the real draw are the bras, panties, and teddies. There's also a valet and convenient storefront parking, making for a quick getaway if you're in a hurry to, uh, nail your target, so to speak.

Walk into Miami's Vice. No, really, walk on in. Because you won't find any hard-core scenes on a flat-screen TV or even a table full of dildos waiting for you up front, but a wall of tasteful, film-noir pinups separating customers from the merch. That's exactly the kind of discreet touch that sets Miami's Vice apart from its competitors. This adult store carries the crème de la crème of pornography. First, this kink is green, thanks to solar-powered panels on the building. The friendly, uniformed staff members have extensive knowledge of what they carry, and the whole place is clean, with no creepy viewing booths or glory holes. There are leather recliners in case you get exhausted from checking out the ridiculously well-stocked boutique. The clothing wall has a large assortment of lingerie, frilly things, and corsets of all colors; a moderately sized selection of shoes; and a section of men's underwear. There's a fetish room and multiple walls arranged by categories such as bachelorette, candy, body wands, incense, vibrators, and tons of other unmentionables. There's also a DVD room, with a larger selection than most adult stores, arranged by category with decently priced films and discount rates. If you're more into touching than watching, Miami's Vice carries high-end toys — you know, the kind that usually sell for upward of $200 and don't even come with batteries? They're on sale here. There's even a free gift-wrapping station so customers can bundle their sexy goodies. Don't miss Wednesdays, when ladies receive 20 percent off everything in the store. If all of that isn't enough to draw you into this sex shop, it's one of the few in Miami that carry edible condoms. Feeling dirty never felt so classy.

Sure, Chris Nuñez, of Miami Ink and Ink Master fame, is the man behind HandCrafted Tattoo and Art Gallery. But that's only one reason why this place should be your new favorite spot to get tatted up. The place hardly feels like a tattoo shop. You won't find drunken spring breakers here asking for a butterfly tramp stamp. If it feels more like an art gallery, that's because it is. Pieces adorn the walls, both in the front as well as in a much larger, white-walled gallery space in the back. The shop's best design detail is an anchor embedded right into the lobby floor. Of course, there's also a tattooing area where everything looks spotless — clinically so. And in addition to Nuñez, other ink specialists are Jamie Ryscik and Twig Sparks, as well as artists from all across the globe who sometimes pop in for a visit. (Nuñez's notoriety comes in handy like that.) Plus, despite Nuñez's fame, you won't find TV cameras here following anyone around. This is a sanctuary for both art and tattoos, and that's a glorious place to be.

Tattoos by Lou
Karli Evans

For some, getting a body piercing is a rite of passage. For others, it's a declaration of independence and individuality. And for the rest of us, it's just effing cool. Whether you want an additional hole in your ear or nose, the mom-taunting tongue stud, or something more intimate, Tattoos by Lou is the place to get it done. Piercings are performed in individual rooms for utmost privacy, and prices are beyond reasonable. Want a hole above the belt? It's $50, depending on the jewelry. Below the belt? Around $100. So next time you're in the mood to do something to shake things up, head to Lou's and get some new holes.

In Miami, our spirits need regular cleansing the way car windows need a good scrubbing every winter in the Midwest. Down here, it's not dirty snow mucking up the windshield; it's our sin-soaked beaches of bare flesh and shady people polluting our souls. So think of Five Sisters as the drive-thru car wash for your spiritual well-being. With eight spiritual healers on call to give you insight and clarity, Five Sisters isn't the kind of dingy storefront that comes to mind when you hear the word psychic. Inside a strip mall a few blocks off South Dixie Highway in East Kendall, the comfortable shop offers services from astrologers, mediums, and tarot card readers, as well as consciousness channeling, lightwave therapy, and everything in between. Prices range from $30 to $55 per half-hour to $90 an hour depending upon the service. In addition to the daily offerings, Five Sisters also hosts a plethora of semiregular events such as past-life regression sessions, ascension therapy, and chakra replenishing. There are even weekly yoga classes for only $10, so you can clear your mind, spirit, and body.

It's about time you got right with the gods, papa. Calamities are no laughing matter, and it seems like tu suerte is just getting worse. You require help from on high, and you'll need to be properly equipped if you want to get in touch with Changó, Obatala, and the rest of the pantheon of orishas whose help you so desperately seek. Open for 25 years, Almacen de Botanica Monzon Bros. II looks more like a warehouse of Yoruba goods than a simple shop. The immense store carries everything from santeros' scimitars and horse-hair fly-whisks ($45 each) to six-foot-tall Indian chiefs ($850) and faux human skulls ($25) to keep the spirits in check. And if you want to make elekes (bead collars) to keep the orishas in your corner and around your neck, you'll have no trouble, because Monzon Bros. II appears to have every size, shape, and color bead conceivably necessary to wrap yourself in good vibras. Better hurry up — El Viejo San Lazaro is always waiting at the door, and somehow he looks like he's expecting you.

Luca Castaldo easily commands a room. The Italian hairstylist has been a staple in Miami since 2005, when he began working at Contesta Rock Hair, an Italian salon chain with an outpost on Española Way. Even in a small salon full of big personalities, he still stole the show with a loyal clientele who would wait for hours, if needed, until his chair opened up. So it only makes sense that Luca would take that magnetic persona and go into business for himself. In 2012, he opened Bleach Hair Addiction in the Shops at Midtown. Unlike his last perch on Española Way, parking here isn't a problem for Castaldo's loyal customers. We've all encountered our fair share of snooty salon employees, but you won't find them at Bleach, where the staff is friendly and ready to offer complimentary wine, beer, or water. This isn't Supercuts, so expect to pay a price for a quality cut, starting at $40 for men and $50 for women. Prices jump from there, but rest assured the cost is worth it. Don't trust just anybody with your hair. Trust Luca.

(Sung to the tune of "Valleri" by the Monkees.)

There's a girl I know who makes me look so good.

And I wouldn't live without her, even if I could.

Just call on Valerie (Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays).

You'll love that Valerie.

[Instrumental, during which you whip your newly perfected hair back and forth.]

She'll color, cut, condition you with treatments galore.

She'll have you looking better than you ever did before.

Just call up Valerie (and make an appointment)!

You'll love that Valerie.

Peter of London's Kendall location is a fabulous full-service salon (including nails, facials, and waxing) in its own right, but one of its real treasures is hairstylist Valerie Paquet. Her warmth, smile, and devotion to great work make you feel like you and she are a dynamic duo with the common goal of making your hair your crowning glory. She's also not one to shy away from a challenge: Along with having a grip on the latest trends, she's also been known to experiment with cosplay-grade hairpieces that can go from convention to club outing. Whether you're looking to straighten, color, cut, or sculpt your coif, you'll be singing Paquet's praises when she's done.

There are a few problems that can ruin even the most swag confidence. Deodorant all over your shirt. Coffee spilled on your pants. And — shudder — raggedy nails. Don't let your digits deteriorate, ladies. Head to Nail Time for a quick, affordable manicure. Whether you're in the market for a subtle French job or psychedelic patterned talons, Nail Time's artisan technicians will have your hands looking flossy for your sister's wedding, the hubby's annual company fundraiser, or Junior's little-league soccer championship game. Manicures start at just $12, and you can get your hands and feet done for $30 ($35 for hubby). Add five bucks if you'd like a French mani, and while you're at it, spend an extra $10 to get your eyebrows waxed. You can schedule an appointment, but Nail Time accepts walk-ins and will have you out within 30 minutes.

Hey, pal: Between that hornets' nest on your head and that follicle explosion on your chin, you look like you're gonna come up on the wrong side of this week's "Homeless or Hipster" game. You need a haircut, son. Luckily, Upper Kutz Barbershop is in the neighborhood. Conveniently located in midtown, Upper Kutz's vintage-inspired parlor offers cuts on the cheap, starting at $18, and a whole range of other hygienic rescues, including tapes for $8, hot shaves for $30, and blowouts for $18. Owner Ray Agnew, a cosmetologist with more than 15 years of experience under his belt, stocks UK with a friendly, knowledgeable staff. Trust us, that Chewbacca look is clichéd. Shape it up at Upper Kutz.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®