When gross-out auteurs the Farrelly brothers were looking to jump-start their decade-old project, the Siamese twins comedy Stuck on You, where did they go? To Miami, of course, a prime shooting location for such "Hollywood" schlock as Bad Boys II and 2 Fast 2 Furious. Granted, this would-be plea for greater understanding of physically conjoined persons starred slumming A-listers Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear, and audiences gave it respectful reviews when it opened in December of 2003. But really, when is Hollywood gonna start taking us seriously enough to shoot some Academy Award-potential films down here? When Accounting starts asking questions about why movies that have nothing to do with Miami are being shot in Miami? "Because it has great weather, even better dope, and abundant nightlife" is not an acceptable answer unless you're, say, Oliver Stone. Or, apparently, those crazy Farrelly boys.

South Florida does have a history, and it's damn rich, especially considering the city's relative youth. It begins about the same time Edison invented the movie camera. That's good news for the Florida Moving Image Archive, which collects and restores film and video to add to its visual storehouse -- actually a large, crammed-with-stuff bunker beneath the main library -- of local history. The annual Rewind/Fast Forward fest celebrates the archived celluloid with a show featuring a broad spectrum of works that all use old footage. There was the mind-bending independent feature The Subversion Agency, the Oscar-nominated documentary The Weather Underground, the locally produced 3-D classic Creature from the Black Lagoon, and a slew of entertaining shorts involving creative use of archival film. Never a dull moment when the past meets the present in this forward-thinking but reflective festival.

When they're not guzzling glowing Blue Hawaiians or tearing through their complimentary lobster plate at the Ramada Inn Melbourne, the fabulous ShuttleLOUNGE, kitschy crooning kings of Florida's Space Coast, can be found in Miami at equally glamorous venues such as the patio of Churchill's. Decked out in obligatory swinger uniform -- flammable polyester leisure suits or loud thrift-store blazers, hefty chains, dark wraparound sunglasses, Camel cigarettes dangling from their lips -- obnoxious vocalist/guitarist the Amazing Dik Shuttle and his unflappable sidekick, keyboardist Cassius Casio KRS "Lejuanlove" Sebastien Bacherat de la Fender Rhodes, throw down loungified renditions of popular tunes with a twisted lyrical bent. Interpol's "Obstacle 1" is morphed with Led Zeppelin's well-worn "Stairway to Heaven." OutKast's fresh "Hey Ya!" is topped off with the B-52's stale "Love Shack." A medley for lovers features the Clash's "Rock the Casbah," Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield," and Steely Dan's "Peg." Like all self-respecting lounge lizards, the inexhaustible duo's set of "stylizations" can go on for hours, appealing equally to cocktail-sipping sophisticates and beer-swilling boors who like a little swagger and subversion with their listening ventures. Barmaid: another Blue Hawaiian. Pronto!

When they're not guzzling glowing Blue Hawaiians or tearing through their complimentary lobster plate at the Ramada Inn Melbourne, the fabulous ShuttleLOUNGE, kitschy crooning kings of Florida's Space Coast, can be found in Miami at equally glamorous venues such as the patio of Churchill's. Decked out in obligatory swinger uniform -- flammable polyester leisure suits or loud thrift-store blazers, hefty chains, dark wraparound sunglasses, Camel cigarettes dangling from their lips -- obnoxious vocalist/guitarist the Amazing Dik Shuttle and his unflappable sidekick, keyboardist Cassius Casio KRS "Lejuanlove" Sebastien Bacherat de la Fender Rhodes, throw down loungified renditions of popular tunes with a twisted lyrical bent. Interpol's "Obstacle 1" is morphed with Led Zeppelin's well-worn "Stairway to Heaven." OutKast's fresh "Hey Ya!" is topped off with the B-52's stale "Love Shack." A medley for lovers features the Clash's "Rock the Casbah," Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield," and Steely Dan's "Peg." Like all self-respecting lounge lizards, the inexhaustible duo's set of "stylizations" can go on for hours, appealing equally to cocktail-sipping sophisticates and beer-swilling boors who like a little swagger and subversion with their listening ventures. Barmaid: another Blue Hawaiian. Pronto!

If you've ever met Rhett or his supporting cast, the Pawnshop Drunks, you'll quickly conclude that this is a jam band, even before hearing them play a song at one of their numerous gigs around town. So as opposed to the pompous pursuit of a meaningful, mystical, or momentous moniker like As I Lay Dying or a quick, dismissive, one-word blip like Snot, this local band, which blends bluesy rock riffs with shreds of punk, opted for something that reflects their true identity.

If you've ever met Rhett or his supporting cast, the Pawnshop Drunks, you'll quickly conclude that this is a jam band, even before hearing them play a song at one of their numerous gigs around town. So as opposed to the pompous pursuit of a meaningful, mystical, or momentous moniker like As I Lay Dying or a quick, dismissive, one-word blip like Snot, this local band, which blends bluesy rock riffs with shreds of punk, opted for something that reflects their true identity.

After the out-of-towners get tired of the South Beach scene, load them in the car and drag them to South Miami-Dade for a tour of the old tourist attractions, the ones without neon and ex-models all over the place. If they were good enough for you when you were a tot, they're more than good enough for your ironic hipster guests. Start out with a morning tour of the ever-mysterious Coral Castle -- the place where fragile Ed Leedskalnin perched giant boulders in impossibly balanced positions. Follow that with a sweet treat at the Knauss Berry Farm, which is run by German Baptists who dress in their traditional garb. Here you'll get sweet, sweet shakes and baked goods made from freshly picked berries and fruit. Then you'll have the afternoon free to cage yourself at Monkey Jungle, where the resident primates roam. If you're lucky, maybe you can lose the guests here. The shame is that the Serpentarium no longer exists.

There was a temptation to write this item about great ways to sober up. But then we realized that getting sober is, quite literally, the last thing anyone wants to do when they're drunk. So we dug out (pun alert) some plans for all to have a sloshing good time. It's not baseball. It's not softball. It's Sloshball! The game is played like baseball, except in order to pass bases (second and home) runners must first drink a beer. Don't laugh just yet. People across the nation participate in brew leagues, and even compete in a Sloshball World Series. At the official Website, local boozehounds can apply to start up their own league. And you thought cricket was weird.

For years area rock fans smiled at the paradox of a sensational band called the Goods: immensely popular and beloved by their peers. Who could resist fair-haired bassist Jim singing resonantly about matters too cerebral for most musicians and, in the next song, dark-haired keyboardist John jumping up and down in a spirited roar? Regal "Mama" Camacho sitting in a dank club watching her boys blast and croon only helped, as did the fact that she's a retired English teacher (hence the intelligence of the band's lyrics). A few years ago some big money men discovered the quartet (with drummer Kasmir Kujawa and guitarist Tony Oms), added a hired-gun guitarist, recorded an album, booked showcases, speed-dialed the major labels, and filmed an hour-long documentary that appeared on VH1. That was the end of that. The Goods' time was over when the album didn't sell millions. Jim has formed Waxburn, John a group called Mongo. The Goods might be gone, which is quite bad, but the brothers continue to make excellent music with their new projects. And Mama smiles.

For years area rock fans smiled at the paradox of a sensational band called the Goods: immensely popular and beloved by their peers. Who could resist fair-haired bassist Jim singing resonantly about matters too cerebral for most musicians and, in the next song, dark-haired keyboardist John jumping up and down in a spirited roar? Regal "Mama" Camacho sitting in a dank club watching her boys blast and croon only helped, as did the fact that she's a retired English teacher (hence the intelligence of the band's lyrics). A few years ago some big money men discovered the quartet (with drummer Kasmir Kujawa and guitarist Tony Oms), added a hired-gun guitarist, recorded an album, booked showcases, speed-dialed the major labels, and filmed an hour-long documentary that appeared on VH1. That was the end of that. The Goods' time was over when the album didn't sell millions. Jim has formed Waxburn, John a group called Mongo. The Goods might be gone, which is quite bad, but the brothers continue to make excellent music with their new projects. And Mama smiles.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®