If you're one of the few hundred thousand souls who lives through the daily purgatory of sitting in morning-rush traffic, finding an entertaining distraction is a priority on your FM dial. So forget the monotone chitchat provided by National Public Radio on WLRN-FM. Since their arrival at the Beat last year, Mexican-American brothers Eric and Nick Vidal have been tearing up weekday mornings with their double-dope old-school hip-hop and funk mixes and their popular crank-call segment "Dropping Bombs," in which lucky callers get to play a practical joke on friends, family members, co-workers, even their bosses -- on the air. From their opening cue, a happy jig mixed over The Sanford & Son television show theme song, the Bakas provide their listeners a rudely comedic awakening. Their most engrossing routine: The duo offered lucky ladies free breast implants. Hordes of young women showed up at the designated spot only to receive complimentary chicken breasts injected with saline. Most morning shows are a poor man's version of Howard Stern, which the Baka Boyz easily outshine (as could a drunk parrot and two mimes). Already far beyond that in quality, the duo are setting a new standard, marking their own territory, probably to be copied soon by other morning shows.

Your band is stone broke and perhaps of dubious talent, so what do you do about recording your masterpiece CD? Visit The Barn, of course. Fifteen years ago owner and sound engineer Dewayne Hart was tired of paying the outrageous fees well-established studios can command, so he put together his own and opened it up to other on-a-budget musicians. (He asked that the address not be published because of theft problems in the area.) While it's hardly the fanciest place -- it really is in a barn -- word began to filter through the local music community about Hart's mellow personality and willingness to help others create the sound they were seeking without any snide, condescending commentary. In an area with dozens of fine studios, including several of the best in America, low prices and selfless dedication had to win out in this category.

Your band is stone broke and perhaps of dubious talent, so what do you do about recording your masterpiece CD? Visit The Barn, of course. Fifteen years ago owner and sound engineer Dewayne Hart was tired of paying the outrageous fees well-established studios can command, so he put together his own and opened it up to other on-a-budget musicians. (He asked that the address not be published because of theft problems in the area.) While it's hardly the fanciest place -- it really is in a barn -- word began to filter through the local music community about Hart's mellow personality and willingness to help others create the sound they were seeking without any snide, condescending commentary. In an area with dozens of fine studios, including several of the best in America, low prices and selfless dedication had to win out in this category.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoon, after you've finished a full day of terrorizing everyone in your office or shop, you don't have to hate yourself. Sure, you've made your secretary's job a living hell, you've tormented your codependent girlfriend, you've sadistically tortured your wife. Radio host Jacqueline Hazel has a place for you in her heart. In her afternoon broadcast, The Forgiveness Forecast, Hazel touts the power of saying "sorry." Listen to Hazel on your drive home and you'll feel redeemed and ready to face that deep, dark truthful mirror above your bathroom sink. You'll regain the strength to continue the next day doing the awful things you do. And then apologize for. Nice way to beat the system, Hazel. Seriously, it's like Catholicism. Do whatever the hell you want, just make sure you get yourself absolved. And what better way to make amends than to apologize. After you finish listening to this uplifting show.

Formerly dubbed Soul Oddity, they were hometown champions of electronic music, pioneering Miami's rave scene. A dispute with their first label, Astralwerks, inspired a change in name and attitude. As Phoenecia, the quirky duo (Joshua Kay and Romulo del Castillo) have spearheaded the Intelligent Dance Music (IDM) movement with their inventive, chirpy, blip-and-bass antics. They have set aside recording to run their label, Schematic Music, and to manage other artists. But lately they've been performing out, including a Soul Oddity tribute concert in the Design District that drew hundreds of old-school fans clamoring for the once-hot tune "DJ Tokyo." Phoenecia puts art -- abstract collages of synthesized sound -- before pandering to fans. The future-is-now approach leads many to consider them legends ahead of their time.

Formerly dubbed Soul Oddity, they were hometown champions of electronic music, pioneering Miami's rave scene. A dispute with their first label, Astralwerks, inspired a change in name and attitude. As Phoenecia, the quirky duo (Joshua Kay and Romulo del Castillo) have spearheaded the Intelligent Dance Music (IDM) movement with their inventive, chirpy, blip-and-bass antics. They have set aside recording to run their label, Schematic Music, and to manage other artists. But lately they've been performing out, including a Soul Oddity tribute concert in the Design District that drew hundreds of old-school fans clamoring for the once-hot tune "DJ Tokyo." Phoenecia puts art -- abstract collages of synthesized sound -- before pandering to fans. The future-is-now approach leads many to consider them legends ahead of their time.

BEST LOCAL ELECTRONICA RELEASE OF THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS

"Miami Eyes"

Underground favorites Secret Frequency Crew, authors of the excellent The Underwater Adventure Hop Secret Treasure, relocated to New York about a year ago. But they returned over the summer to give local electro label Mass Transit "Miami Eyes," a twelve-inch single full of retro Eighties glamour and tales of "palm trees in disguise" and "speed boats and cocaine spies." The track was added to the playlists of reputable DJs around the world, creating a subterranean buzz felt everywhere. Except, paradoxically enough, in the Magic City itself.

BEST LOCAL ELECTRONICA RELEASE OF THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS

"Miami Eyes"

Underground favorites Secret Frequency Crew, authors of the excellent The Underwater Adventure Hop Secret Treasure, relocated to New York about a year ago. But they returned over the summer to give local electro label Mass Transit "Miami Eyes," a twelve-inch single full of retro Eighties glamour and tales of "palm trees in disguise" and "speed boats and cocaine spies." The track was added to the playlists of reputable DJs around the world, creating a subterranean buzz felt everywhere. Except, paradoxically enough, in the Magic City itself.

Actually, make that personalities. With their El Vacilón de la Mañana show on El Zol, these two get away with stuff Howard Stern types can only dream about. Maybe no one at the FCC speaks Spanish. Despite the recent brouhaha over indecency, anybody who regularly listens to radio knows the real shock jocks are celebrated on the seemingly unregulated Hispanic stations. Enrique Santos and Joe Ferrero are rated highest among young listeners in Miami, but what makes them really worthy of accolades is their campaign to humiliate world leaders of local interest. In the past months they've managed to place prank phone calls to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and Cuban leader Fidel Castro, and they just barely missed snagging Jean-Bertrand Aristide, who was gone when their call was taken by an unamused secretary to the former Haitian president. Beats the hell out of some has-been New Yawker using airtime to humiliate lesbian stripper amputees.

The body contorts.

Masters of forms undefined,

Divine and unmatched.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®